Great Moments In Tailgating History Vol: 2

September 19, 2008

Not every great tailgating story has to end with dumping piss on a stranger. Nor does every great tailgating moment have to even be at a football game. Tonight, we venture out of the friendly confines of The Ohio State university campus, and into the wide world of sports.

Our first story, is a glorious tail about not only tailgating, but teamwork, dedication, stadium beers, and the excitement of playoff race baseball. Apparently, during a recent New Yorks Mets home game, one particular fan had maybe one too many beers, and it looks like a few qualudes as well. Judging by the fact that he is in the cheap seats, theres no way all of his drinking took place inside the game, where beers will run well over 5 bucks a pop. There’s only one way this went down, and that was tailgating. Somewhere before the game, this lucky fella had one hell of a time, and somebody just stuck a baseball game in the middle of it. Take a look for yourself.

Our next stop along our magical journey of tailgating around the globe, takes us to Africa. During a recent soccer, match in the Democratic Republic of Congo, a riot broke out, and 13 people were killed. One of the best things about tailgating is pretty much any off field death at a sporting event can somehow be linked to tailgating. Besides sheer drunkenness, what could have caused this riot you ask? Well one of the teams goaltenders started using witchcraft on his opponents. Normal people would just wonder what the hell this guy was doing, and immediately take him off their Congolese fantasy futbol team’s roster. Not tailgaters, they go apeshit. This sort of thing appears to be common in the Congo. They do everything from smearing pigs blood on the opponents locker, to burying live cattle in front of the oppositions goal, just to get an edge. I’m guessing the big hump, with a cows head sticking out, in front of the goal you are trying to kick into isn’t exactly helpfull. Normally these activities become little more than conversation starters, but when the crowds been tailgating, look out. 

Our final stop for the night, takes us to the great state of Maryland, at the world renowned Pimlico race course, for the Preakness stakes. Here not only is tailgating on a late spring saturday part of the event, it has even spawned new ones. The running of the Urinals has gained global attention thanks to the internet. Basically, once the tailgating has reached full swing, and there is a break between races, the common folk get their moment to shine. This isn’t for the people who own horses, or wear funny hats, this is for the people who bring the lawn chairs and coolers. The folks in the infield. The Tailgaters. The jist of it is this. There is a long row of porto-shitter’s for all the beer drinking youngsters who tailgate this fantastic event. We’re talking about dozens, and dozens of portable shitters all lined up in a row. Drunken tailgaters try to run accross the roofs of the porto-shitters, while dodging a barrage of beers thrown by the crowd below. It’s like the battle of shittysburgh. Most folks don’t make it accross the long line of single unit shitters. The glorious few who survive the onslaught of the long stretch, move on to running accross the tops of the Handicap shitters, and the family/gangbang urinals. Few survive from one end of the other. Those who do, are likely outcast by there friends becaus ethey smell like a trash can, and will later be date raped in the parking lot by a pack of wild jockey’s. One things for certain, this is tailgating at it’s finest. 

Feel free to add any more great ones out there.


One Response to “Great Moments In Tailgating History Vol: 2”

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