Here we go

Well it’s game time…almost. Hope everyone took my advice on the #1 seeds, now all you have to do is pick the winner. Since nobody in my pool picked Memphis, and I am the leader off all the kansas teams, it’s winner, winner, chicken dinner for me!!!!!! Gee, I never imagined kevin Love, and Tyler hansbrough getting dominated by more athletic big men. Did not see that coming. Hansbrough, who benefitted from every call, and then some all season long, rarely missed a shot, or got touched without turning to the refs, expecting a foul call, like he got in the Centerless ACC. Too bad. Oh well, as long as Jordan still has the call on who Charlotte drafts, turds like him will get an NBA contract.

Why do the Reds still start Arroyo in Day games? Hasn’t he said numerous times, he does not function until after 4 p.m.? Isn’t it pretty well known he party’s every night? Look the guys an o.k. pitcher better suited for later in the rotation. he had a great year in 06′ but couldn’t we have bumped up Cueto to the two spot, and saaved Bronson for a nighter in millwaukee? (note: the reds are well known for demolishing hotel rooms, in all hours of the night when they go to millwaukee, so after tuesday, Arroyo, Freel, hopper, and most the bullpen won’t be wrth a shit anyway. I’m counting on my Millwaukee sources on any hotel room updates.) It’s been brought up abut trading Arroyo. I would love rich Harden’s steady 14 plus wins in the reds rotation, but it’s not an option. Not because of Homer Bailey either. With Cueto, and Volquez, he’s expendable. They can’t trade Arroyo, because half the commercials on WLW, and FSN OH star Bronson himself. This is the reds. JTM would never let them get rid of him, otherwise they’d have to make new commercials, and they usually stretch the same two for about 3 years. The best bet, is to take Arroyo, Dunn, coffey and announcer Chris Welsh, tie them to a log, and throw them in the Ohio river. Whichever calls collect from New Orleans gets to come back, and be a middle reliever.

Oh Henry’

The wild ride that was Chris Henry’s career as a bengal has come to an end. After being jailed for assault, and some other stuff, the bengals have finally said ‘no mas’. The judge who set his bail referred to him as a one man crime spree. Apparently he threw a beer through some dudes window, and punched him in the face. Alas it was not fair travis as he has been tracked down, and the wedding is as scheduled, sans Chris. Travis. Your gift is in the mail. Hope you like dish towels. One can only imagine the prison football team of Mike Vick, Maurice Clarett, Ray Caruth, and Chris Henry. Coached of course by art Schliester. Oh well, with every end, there is a new beginning.

Heeeeeere’s Johnny! Johnny Cueto, that is. The reds phenom was one pitch away from being in contention for a perfect game in his MLB debut. What a little bad-ass this dude is. There may not be any blogs for a while, as I plan on heading south this weekend, to be first in line for reds playoff tickets. He was almost un-hittable despite constant rain. I may have to add Johnny Cueto as two more middle names for my boy.

Did anyone watch the Buckeyes? We Won The NIT!!!!! Hey it’s not the big title, but we won something. We’re either #1 or #66 depending how you look at it. Either way the streak is over, second place no more. Paving the way for a buckeyes football championship. Speaking of, Beanie Wells says he’s staying four years. this is no surprise, as everyone plans on staying, until they get projected a top 20 pick. Congrats, though, to the buckeyes basketball team, and Jamar butler in particular. The pride of Shawnee.

It’s been awhile, but I’m bringing it back. The first repeat candidate on “who would you rather bang?” Elliot Spitzer’s call girl blew away the crazy teacher chick, so I thought I’d bring her back for an encore. Lets see if she really is the Johnny Cueto of ‘WWYRB’. This time she takes on another call girl tied up in a political scandal. Michigan Senator Debbie Stabenow’s husband was recently arrested for paying for sex with a call girl. Alycia Martin seen here http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/04/02/alycia-martin-alleged-pro_n_94706.html though young in age, makes up for it in sheer classiness. She may not have actually had sex with anyone famous, but she did get her name in USA today, which kinda counts. Unlike her counterpart “kristin” http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/03/12/eliot-spitzers-kristen-_n_91162.html the Spitzer chick, she actually charges rasonable rates. $225 for the full hour, $160 for half, and of course one benjamin for 15 mins. If you read this blog, chances are your just paying for the 15 minutes. I don’t know too much about hookers, but who the hell charges $160 for anything? Her opponent “kristin” the undefeated champ of WWYRB has gained recent attention, after news broke that she had previously been apart of girls gone wild http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zv7AHHSCTvY 

will the girls gone wild thing be enough to vault her past her lower priced competitor? find out now. Let the voting begin.

Runaway groom?

This may be jumping the gun a little, but we may have an emergency on our hands. As many already know, one of my best friends, whom I’ve known most of my life, is supposed to be getting married this weekend. I will not be able to make it to the wedding, since we have a newborn at home, and that would be a shitty thing to do. Strangely enough, this friend who will go unmentioned, has now fallen out of contact with the rest of the world as I know it. To avoid invading anyones privacy, I won’t mention his name, we’ll just call him Travis L. No wait, that’s way too obvious. We’ll call him T. Larimore. Anywho, this is the guy who introduced me to my wife, and mother of my spawn. I wanted to call him and let him know, that it’s official, I wont make the festivities in tampa Florida. Home of the infamous “hot tub shitting”. So I call him to wish him luck, and provide that priceless marital advice I’ve been known for, and low and behold, his phone is disconnected. This can only mean one of two things. Travis has either been kidnapped by the god damned Swedes, or has skipped town with a case of cold feet. Any info on the whereabouts of Travis L, would be greatly appreciated. If he did skip town, one can only guess he’s hiding in northern Indiana with the great, ‘crazy Wanny’, surely smoking cigarettes and drinking natty lights, while driving a boat. Please foward this message on to anyone you know, I need to find out whether or not I still need to send a gift. I got a kid to feed.

Good thing the Reds traded Josh Hamilton. He only hit a game winning 2 run homer in extra innings last night. He currently has more hits than the entire reds outfield combined. Thank god that dude’s gone, now Corey patterson can play every game. Maybe the Reds can even the score, and trade Adam Dunn, and Edwin Encarnaciofortheseason to the rangers in exchange for hamilton, and an eight-ball of coke. Maybe thats where travis is, making sure Josh Hamilton stays on the straight and narrow. He could have also gotten a new cell phone, but that’s what the Swedes want us to think.

Fat Love

Is anyone else tired of hearing about Kevin Love, the Tyler hansborough of the west? Or, as I call him baby fat, as his entire body is covered with a layer of baby fat. Seriously, his skin is pink, and looks similar to my week old son’s, except Dylan isn’t a douche-bag. This dude gets way too much credit. He can’t move more than four feet without travelling, and almost always fouls on the defensive end. Is it just me or do the big name white guys get away with everything. I guess I’m a basketball racist, but I can’t stand the white guys unless they look like Kurt Rambis. Give me the black dude who actually has a chance in the pros any day.

Congrats to Matt Leinhart for getting heat from the press for partying with a bunch of young chicks. Has anyone seen the pics? Whats so bad about that, except for most of them were a little chunky? He may be my new favorite non buckeye/bengal. In the pics he’s holding a beer bong for a chick, and in another he’s in a hot tub with four chicks at his AZ home. Again, nothing wrong with that. Hats off to you Matt. I’ll look ya up next time I’m in the greater scottsdale area. Maybe I’ll even shit in the hot tub for ya.

Speaking of shitting in hot tubs, looks like Tampa Bay struck back.  I know it’s been a few weeks, but the Tampa Bay NCAA games were all upsets and totally shot my brackets all to hell. Looks like the score is tied tampa, but I aint done yet. Hope everyone took my advice and stuck with all one seeds, just as I predicted. I may have to change my pick to Memphis. The Pac 10 is over-rated, and UCLA could lose by 20. Lets all hope Kansas gets it back together, and beats down UNC.

Hope everyone is enjoying the spring weather, and all the NCAA, MLB, NHL, NBA action. If not, shitting in a hot tub is always fun too.

One down

So the reds didn’t fair so hot in the opener. Oh well, if they finish 161-1 it will still be a decent year. It just didn’t seem all that opening dayish. Maybe it was the memorial ceremonies for both fallen reds legends, and local soldiers that dampened the mood. Maybe it was the hour long rain delay, but the energy wasn’t there for the redlegs. Getting only three damn hits could also be a cause of low emotion, but whatever, the season is still young, and I had a good time. Also, a little shout-out to the U.S. Airforce, and whomever from the reds whose job it was to notify them of the rain delay. there we were, watching the rain fall, no ball players in sight, stadium mostly empty, field still covered by the tarp, when right on time 2:15 all sounds were drowned out by the air force fly-over. Someone forget to let them know there was a delay, so nobody got to see it. Harang had another great performance go to waste, as he went six innings with 3 hits, and 2 earned runs. As good as he was, Brandon Webb was even better. The good news is, cincinnati is still full of rednecks, and jack-asses. We got to sit in front of the smartest fan of all time. I now know things about baseball nobody knew before. The skyline coney’s and the nachos are still the best in the bigs. Stay classy Cincinnati. Lets all hope FOX Sports net. actually sticks to their posted HD schedule for reds games, and I won’t have to get out the ole sniper rifle.