Big day all around

Today congress had another day off. Not big on the political thing, but over lunch I was able to enjoy the U.S. Congress letting baseball’s executives know how they felt. Some bull dyke from who knows where, used the terms “great american passtime” and “apple pie” in the same sentance. She should be demoted to Highway roadkill remover. The other’s all did the same obligatory thanking this guy, and mentioning that guy, and then berrated, Donald Fehr, and Bud Selig, while getting their 15 minutes of fame in, and all saying the same thing. Lets get one thing straight. Baseball is fucked up. But outside of Clemens, who gives a shit about the steroids? Yeah it happened, but isn’t there a war going on? Isn’t the economy, and the housing market going to shit? How’s that healthcare, and social security coming? If you wanna fix baseball lets make it so the Reds have the same budget as, oh, let’s say, the yankees. Or how about the fact that Stub Hub has 1,200 opening day tickets on sale now, and the reds haven’t even announced the on sale date for opening day. Or what about $6.25 for a beer? If you wanna get my vote by fixing baseball, send Adam Dunn to Iraq. And can we please get a St. bernard to shit on the grass at a home game?Rich Rodriquez, or Dick Rod. as he is known amongst the Thomas family, is off to a roaring start. So far he has fired all the ass. coaches from UM, not paid his buyout, ran off the only QB they have, and sent 2 good receivers to the NFl early. Now today we find out he was pulling an Enron, before he left. What the fuck do you need to shred as a football coach. I can see deleting all the porn files from the university CPU. Were you shredding dental records? Oh that’s right, you’re from West Virginia. My guess is Steve Slaton’s Entrance test scores are nowhere to be found. Wolverine fans better hope they get terrell prior, cause if not, good luck on the coaching search in 2011. They did manage to keep their big running back recruit. Oh wait he is white…good luck with that. Nothing like building a program around a white running back.Although anyone who watched the BCS debacle part deux could say different. Either way, Fuck Michigan.

This afternoon while picking up Rudi from his “doggie daycare” (that’s right, we’re rock stars, we have doggie daycare), I was attacked by a little cocksucker of a dog who weighed all of 9 pounds. He kept snarling, and snapping at me as I walked by, paying no attention to him, as he wieghed 9 pounds, and punting him into a pond was not an option, as there were witnesses, who may have owned said dog. He bit me more than once, but since it is hell frozen over, my 18 layers of clothes made it laughable. Once I got Rudi, said bastard dog continued his attack. Well, after the third nip, rudi went ape-shit. It took all of 2 seconds for Rudi to have him pinned on the ground, with the death grip jaws ready to finish him off. A 1 year old mixed bread weighing at last check 85 pounds, vs. a 9 pound sausage dog. Somewhere, Mike Vick has a Boner. Since said old lady’s were still standing there, I pulled my dog off, but gave him an extra doggie bone when we got home. Tonight Rudi’s farts smell a little sweeter.

On a side note. This next paragraph will likely put me away for good in the future. To Whomever keeps breaking into the shed at my parents pond, and stealing my fishing poles. FUCK YOU!  I will Kill you, and your body will be half-assed disposed of in the pond. Look, I’m no cat burglar, but I have broken my share of laws. Follow these easy steps.

1. Break into a building with at the very least electricity. My wall-mart poles are worth shit. Go for the Plasma’s and maybe a Blueray or two. 8×10 Sheds on a farm pond aren’t the gold mine they used to be.

2. Good job covering your tracks, since there is snow on the ground, and you left footprints, heading straight to your house….Tony Desenberg, I want my poles back. If not i will tell the newspapers your Uncle Dave, my High School History Teacher and football coach touched me in the “special places”. Since nobody clearly drove back there, and you have the only house for 2 miles in that direction, it’s not a tough crime to crack.

3. Whenever breaking into a building with a padlock, try using the key that is hanging 6 inches from the lock, before breaking a window, and then climbing in through broken glass. Intestinal wounds are a bastard.

4. Break in next time say, around the saturday after april 9th, or the 4th of July around, say 1 A.M. That guy Combat drinking bud-lights around a campfire, never has a firearm, or legitimate witnesses to confirm his insanity.

I realize all of 9 people read this, but for hopes sake, spread the word. Maybe we can get enough people to read this, and we can catch the culprit. Maybe we can even march in downtown Lima until Justice is served, every saturday morning. I’m sure the pissed of Black people in Lima won’t mind a honky or two joining the fight for justice.

Posted on Tuesday, January 15, 2008 at 11:11PM