I’ve done it!
May 22, 2009
Finally, my years of hard work have paid off. For the first 29 years of my life, I have compiled a pretty impressive resume. I’ve fathered a child, I’ve won a pie eating contest by a decisive margin, and I have vomitted while urinating, and never missed a beat, just to name a few. In those first 29 years, I think I’ve done more than even lazy hacks like Thomas Edison accomplished in a lifetime.
However, I did not stop there. Like other great humans such as Mother Theresa, and the Beastie Boys, I kept going. Now, my public service is finally paying off. For months now, i’ve comlained in a public forum about Wendy’s horrible decision to discontinue my favorite sandwhich, the Big bacon Classic. I’ve driven really far out of my way, in search of a Wendy’s that still sells the BBC, and with a little help, I found that Wendy’s. Like other great humanitarians, I did not stop there. I kept complaining, and even flipped off the Wendy’s Coorporate headquarters, whenever i drove by, which is surprisingly often. While the rest of you lazy bastards were content to go on living with the baconator, and the Jr. bacon Cheeseburger as your only bacon laced burger options at Wendy’s, I pressed on. Finally, I ahve beat the system. I have brought a coorporate ginat to their knees.
Today, I discovered with no help from television commercials, the Big bacon Classic is Back! Sure now it’s called the “Bacon Deluxe” but I’ll take it. Whatever those coorporate fat cats want to call it, I’ll take it. it’s all the same. The bun, the all beef patty, the lettuce, tomato, onion, and pickle. It’s back, and better than ever. This model, has “applewood” bacon, but appears to be microwaved the same as the original bacon. The time away from eachother has been tough on both Wendy’s and I, but it kinda feels like hooking back up with an old flame. Life is sweet again. Sure, it costs about a dollar more than it did before, but adjusting for inflation, and factoring in our newly healed booming economy (thanks Mr. president) it’s worth it. That hole in my heart, that was once Cholesterol from too many big bacon Classics has been filled, and the whole world just makes sense now. The sign may have said “for a limited time only” but if we all team together, and eat a shitload of these things, it will be here to stay. If that doesn’t work, I can resume mailing fake Anthrax to Wendy’s headquarters.
Your welcome world, you owe me on this one.
Bring back Rax and i’ll be really impressed.
Meet me in Bellefontaine, and I’ll buy you some Rax. Or we could always hit the one by the strip clups in Ft. Wayne. Trust me, the years of living without it, and the nostalgia involved have greatly inflated your memory of Rax’s quality. It’s very dissapointing.
Wendys always still served the Big Bacon Classic if you asked for it. It just wasn’t on the menu. I was always able to order one since they discontinued it.
But anyway, cool to hear it’s back. It was also my favorite sandwich and I hated the Baconater.
As far as Rax goes, the one in Mansfield, Ohio closed a few years back (and was replaced with Popeyes chicken), but I ate there for the first time in probably a decade before it closed – and there’s a reason Rax no longer exists. I waited 20 minutes at the drivethrough window for a partially cold sandwich, extremely small drink, and fries that weren’t very good.