Do I have swine flu?

The past few days have been pretty much a fog for me. Everything was going great. My allergies were clearing up, I was feeling better, my Bengals had knocked the draft right out of the park, and then it hit me. Fever, chills, cold sweats, and dizziness. Sore throat, aches and pains all over, no appetite, trouble swallowing. What the hell is this? Not my allergies back for more, I actually had a fever, and my throat was painfull to the touch. Could it be that I got too excited about the Bengals stealing Rey Mauluga? That Can’t be, it didn’t all go down until sunday afternoon, and I had long since celebrated the Bengals best draft ever. Then I turned on the news. Apparently, all of mankind is going to be stricken with what they are calling “swine flu”. This is going to be the big one they say. It’s gonna wipe us all out. Well, after some quick reading of the symptoms, I’m pretty sure I got it. No vomitting, but that can be arranged. So how did I get the swine flu? I didn’t go to mexico, nor I have even went to Taco bell. I can’t help but wonder if I didn’t pick it up from one of the mexicans working at my local Wendy’s that I visit all the time. They already have documented cases in Ohio, so it was just a matter of time before I got it anyway. I’m gonna fight back though. I’m not gonna just lay down and die, Oh no! I’m a fighter. The plan is to rest, relax, watch baseball, and maybe see if a little of Kentucky’s finest bourbon can’t chase off the swine flu. If that doesn’t work, I’m going to go to the battle stations, and fight this thing on it’s home turf. No, not Mexico, that place is a dirty shit hole, and I’m never going back there. instead, I’m gonna eat as much pork as I can, and try to out-swine the swine flu. Lucky for me we just got a brand new Montgomery Inn down the road from us, so I won’t be in this one alone. In the mean time, pray for the Reds, ever since I said how awesome they were doing, they pretty much have lost every game they’ve played. Maybe I gave them swine flu as well.