Lets go drafting!

Ah yes, one of my very favorite times of the year. The NFL draft, is upon us. Where has the time gone? It seemed like yesterday I was trying to figure out just who the hell my Bengals had waisted their picks on, and that was an entire year ago. Now, all i can do is sit and wait for the Bengals to surprise me again.
I’ve given up hope on them drafting my man Beanie Wells, but we can still get some crappier Buckeyes in the later rounds. I’m talking about you Marcus Freeman. Their is still hope though. It’s almost certain they’re taking a tackle in round one, and I’ve made peace with that. They do need a tackle, the only problem is, they need two tackles. Whatever they can do to allow Carson Palmer to make it to week 6 before he gets killed, will be a big help.
I do still have some dreams for my Bengals though, here it is. Percy Harvin. He’s falling off the radar fast, and maybe he can slide all the way to the Bengals in the 2nd rd. Doubtfull, but I can dream. He’s perfect for us. Injury prone, nobody has more guys on the IR every year than the Bengals. Wasting big bucks on guys in street clothes is our gameplan. They say he’s a diva, and I can’t think of a team better suited for a Diva than the bengals. Imagine Percy Harvin, and Chad Ocho Cinco both throwing bithc fits on the sidelines. I’m giddy with excitement over that. He’s clearly one of the stupidest men alive, which makes him a perfect fit for the striped ones. He failed his drug test at the scouting combine, and tested positive for pot. That’s my kinda stupid right there. It’s not like he got kicked out of school, and had to report to the combine at the last minute, and didn’t have time to flush his system. He left early from Florida, he knew months in advance that he was going to have to take a drug test, and he still failed it. He’s the perfect fit. I can deal with the pot thing, although it only helps his cause as a Bengal. To fail the drug test for pot of all things, takes an incredible kind of stupid. It’d be different if they found some new type of performance enhancer, that he thought would go un-detected, but pot? Way to go buddy, I can’t wait to see how you blow your signing bonus. Now, he’s going to have to start his career on the NFL’s substance abuse program, which means one missed, or failed test, and he’s suspended for four games, another reason he should be a Bengal. We have guys suspended all the time. I don’t think Percy has what it takes to be an NFL teams lead fuck-up, but with a little guidance from guys like Chris Henry, Johnathon Joseph, and Tank johnson, he can grow in to a total shithead in no time at all. So here’s to dreaming about all things NFL draft. We may not get anyone good, and we may draft a ton of “bargain” guys, but if we can get just one more shithead in this draft, I’ll be happy.

As for the Lions, come on guys, don’t draft Stafford. Just take the Tackle, and play it safe. You’ll have your choice of QB next season. Mathew Stafford is the white Jamarcus Russell. The dude is going to be a huge bust. I’m sure by me saying it, he’s gonna be an All-Pro, but I just don’t see how a guy who flops in big games, and gets ate up by pressure is gonna make it in Detroit. The one sure thing at the top, is Michael Crabtree. Who says the Lions can’t take another receiver? It’d be fun! It would be the perfect way to get closure on the whole Matt Millen era.
Cleveland, I can only wait and see what crazy moves you guys try and pull off this year. I do think dirty Sanchez is the real deal, as long as he goes to the right team, and can sit for a season.
As for the rest of the draft, we can only wait. It’s gonna be a good one.