Vigilante Time

I’ve sat on the sidelines for too long. The time has come for action, and I am ready to answer the call to serve, for the greater good of my nation. No, I’m not joining the military, their policy on drinking on duty is a little strict for my tastes, and the same goes for traditional law enforcement. I’ve decided to follow my lifelong dream, of being a crime fighter. Vigilante justice in Columbus OH is about to get a new face. Mine.

Last night, I was on top of the world. I had recently discovered that if memphis was to win the NCAA tourney, I was garunteed to win my pool, and my Jackets had just mopped the ice with the Calgary Flames, a team we might face in the playoffs. Shortly after sharing my joy with the world, Memphis went down hard, but I still had my revamped Blue Jackets, and our stud rookie goalie Steve mason to fall back on. And then, I saw this http://www.1460thefan.com/live/content/local_news/stories/2009/03/27/abluemason.html?sid=101  and this http://ca.sports.yahoo.com/nhl/blog/puck_daddy/post/Flames-fan-arrested-after-death-threats-during?urn=nhl,151007  I’m not gonna take this sitting down, oh no. Many of you have lost the rage you felt after 9/11, but my rage is back. The world, is trying to stop my Blue jackets from getting into the playoffs, for the first time ever.
Some donkey raping shit eater Clagary fan, has been arrested for threatening to kill our star goalie, after he put up another shutout vs. a playoff team. Normally, I applaud idiots who make jackass decisions, and make news for us to laugh at, but not this time. this time, it hits way too close to home. So I’ve decided to take action. I figure if some random idiot hockey fan can try this, then one can only imagine what ways groups like Al Qaeda, North Korea, and Red Wings fans can be plotting at taking down my team. One can only assume there are evil forces lurking behind the scenes, trying to keep the Jackets out of the playoffs. So I’ve decided, the best course for action is for me to step up personally, and help out the Jackets star goalie. Anyone I see with another NHL teams gear on, is going to get a hockey stick to the head. Anyone who still plays NHL hockey for sega genesis, can expect the same (blob hockey for the old school Atari gets a hallpass). I’m going to go ahead and volunteer my services to personally protect goaltender Steve Mason. I figure the best way to help out, is to sit in his driveway, and drink beer all night, just to make sure nobody tries anything cute. I can imagine having some weird looking American sitting in his driveway drinking beer, might make Mason a little uncomfortable, as he is Canadian. That’s why I’ll be doing it while wearing a really tall stocking hat, to make him feel more “at home”. If anyone is going to get to our goalie, they’re gonna have to get through me. So there it is evil-doers of the world. i have put you on notice. The jackets will make the playoffs, if it costs me my life. I’m ready to answer the call, and the rest of you should also. Unless you play basketball for memphis, in which case you are dead to me.