Damn you youtube!

Youtube has taken away the video of my reds best player Edinson Volquez. If anyone missed the vid. it was exactly what you want to see out of your ace pitcher. He was in his SUV, with a Dominican rap star (star is a loose term). They were speaking in spanish, so it’s impossible for anyone to know what they were saying, but after some chatter, Edinson opened up his middle console, and handed a pistol, to his Dominican rap star amigo. It was great. They laughed, said some crazy spanish things, and drove off. It’s a damn shame Youtube has taken it down. In the coming days, i will use all my resources to find this video. It will be the rally cry for the 2009 Reds season. Mark my words.

Big night in sports

Tonight, we got a little added bonus, in what is generally one of the dullest sports months of the year. Sure in total february has a lot to offer, but it also has some dead time sports wise.

Here in Columbus for some reason, we had Team USA vs. Mexico in World Cup Qualifying. Why this was in Columbus, nobody knows for sure, but for some reason it was not freezing on this particular february eve. In fact, we actually had a thunderstorm, and it was quite warm all day long. Now, I don’t get into soccer, not at all. There are some sports I’d rather play, some I’d rather watch, and some I’d like to do without. Soccer is the latter of the three. I do however, try to be a well rounded couch potato (pun actually intended) so i give soccer a fighting chance to win me over from time to time. If there is a big Euro cup game on, and I can’t find the remote at some crazy hour, I’ll watch. When the world cup comes around, I get into it a little bit. I was in New York during the last World Cup, and that town really got into it. Right up until team USA got their asses handed to them. Tonight, I gave it another shot, and got to see the USA win 2-0 over mexico! Whoo-hoo! I wasn’t exactly glued to the screen, but I did see one of the goals. I have a few problems with soccer. First, the drama. Is it a rule that when you fall down, you have to grab some part of your leg, and scream like you are dying, and then get up and be perfectly fine? Has no soccer coach ever used the ole “walk it off” line? Soccer and Hockey have some things in common. Where they seperate is excitement, and self governing fights. Some dude trips your winger, send in your goon, and fuck him up. Soccer would be waay cooler if after some mexican dude trips Landon Donovans squirly ass, we sent in some big black dude who played at Auburn, and watched him pummel team Mexicos star player. I’d watch a whole lot more. This was a big game soccer wise, and it was just a few miles from my house, and yet, i really didn’t care. Fighting, would make me care. Another problem I have is, “Stoppage Time” Most sports, when the clock runs out (or in this case fills up) the game is over. Not soccer, they have this magical period known as stoppage time, after regulation ends. I believe it is for all the times when the ball was out of bounds, or being placed by the refs, or when their was a penalty, they just add it to the end. Has anyone in soccer ever thought about just stopping the clock, and restarting it when play resumes? Seems a lot easier to me. They do know they have clocks that start and stop when controlled bya human right? We’re no longer limited to the big slowly spinning clcok they used in the gym on the movie ‘Hoosiers’. My final problem with soccer, is limited to USA soccer. We get our asses kicked, and there is no excuse for that. Look at the Olympics, we kick everyones ass. We even have black speed skaters these days. isn’t there anything we can do to be good at soccer? We’re the God Damned U.S. of A. people, we should never lose to countries we donate food to. We should be owning those guys. Most of our “stars” play in the MLS. That is not good. I don’t see any guys on Team Brazil, Germany, or Portugal playing for some shitty MLS squad in Kansas City. I may know very little about soccer, but Landon Donovan, our “star” blows. He can’t even field a pass. He’s the Left Wing. From what I know about Hockey, that’s the dude you count on to either score, or set up most your goals. Every team has a stud Left Wing these days. Not in soccer aparently. Landon just dribbles it until he gets surrounded, and then lobs the ball backwards. Every once in a while he trips or kicks it out of bounds. I know he had an assist of whatever it’s called in soccer (so save the hardcore soccer comments) but what the hell else was he gonna do? I could have passed it to the guy next to me, with a beer in my hand. Despite all this, we won, which I believe means we have gained the rights to Cancun. Hopefully, soccer fixes a few of these minor issues before the next world cup. It’s a good chance to drink with foreign people.

College basketball is also giving us a big night. A decent Big East Game, a chance to see Oklahoma play, and the Duke vs. Carolina game. I get into Duke/Carolina, it’s a great rivalry, and usually a good game. How shitty is it for South Carolina, that Whenever anyone says “carolina”, they instantly think North Carolina? I’m always back and forth on who I want to win that game. I like coach Kryschyveskiwooski, but Duke bothers me. I like watching UNC play, but most of their players bother me. I love Dukes defense, but HD makes those bastards even uglier. Most of the time I go with the underdog. My favorite part of the game, is Duke fans. I like to imagine what it’s like when two duke students, who aren’t liquored up Lacrosse players have sex. I believe this is how it goes.

Male Duke student: So your skin doesn’t hold pigment either?
Female Duke student: My parents didn’t let me play outdoors, I stayed indoors and practiced the Oboe.
MDS: Would you consider pre-marital intercourse for reasons other than procreation?
FDS: Like on those R movies?
MDS: It might be fun…
FDS: You do have a big G.P.A
MDS:I brought a sheet with a hole in the center, and some wine coolers
FDS: Oh your preparedness and your passion for charity work and constitutional law get me so hot!

And…..Scene.

That’s my boy!

Any parent can tell you, there are certain moments in your childs life, that make you the proudest. My son is awesome, and makes life fun for anyone around him. Last friday however, he made me as proud as I have ever been. When I picked him up at Daycare, there was some papers in his little box. Mostly they are just newsletters, and various forms of junkmail, brought on by the daycare industry, and their secret agendas. (more on that later) This time, there was some art work, my 10 month old son had made. His previous works, were imprints of his hand, or specks of crayon from him slamming crayons down onto paper, but they were always cute nonetheless. This time, it was a big orange piece of construction paper, many of the usual specs of crayon from his violent coloring style, and what could be nothing other than a big penis, and balls. There was no doubt about it. Cock, and balls, and even some whiskers. I have never been so proud in all my life. I gotta admit, I was in high school before I found the humor in drawing penis’s on things. Who has not found the joy in stealing one of your friends notebooks, or textbooks, and drawing a giant penis on it? This activity pretty much saved me from losing my mind in 11th grade, and my son has picked it up even before his first birthday. My only concern is, he may grow up to be like the fat kid on ‘Superbad’. In fact, a week or so ago, a friend and I were riding in my vehicle, and due to the snow, and the shitty rear defrost thing, I noticed someone had drawn a big penis on the back of my window. This got us wondering what that movie was, where the kid scared off a little girl for drawing a huge penis all the time. it took us a while, but we rememberred it was ‘Superbad’. Oh, what an omen that was. I gotta admit, my wife isn’t as proud as I am, but she did think it was funny. Before anyone out there can make gay jokes, remember this. A gay kid would draw the penis picture, and then hide it under his teddy bear so he could look at it in his crib at night. A hillarious kid, draws a penis on something, and then gives it to somebody.

Staying Alive

The good news is, I do NOT have Super-AIDS, which is always nice. The bad news is, I seem to be suffering from some type of allergic reaction, from an unknown substance. Since my current batch of what I call “poison Ivy” is isolated to my glove (left) hand, and wrist, I have to wonder. What could it be? What did I expose only my left hand to, wrist deep, that is causing me so much suffering? It couldn’t be from that time I fisted that transient fella I picked up on the highway, could it? I gotta say it’s from either dish water, or laundry detergent, making it highly dangerous for me to do either dishes, or laundry. I tried to get my hack doctor to write me a note to give to my wife, to get me out of chores, but he was too busy writing prescriptions, and being a homo-northwestern grad. I still say, one should never trust an MD who got his diploma from a school with a dry campus, but finding a new doctor is a pain in the ass, and I hate forms, so I cope. I did come out of this with a shitload of drugs, including steroids, and if they don’t work, I get to go in and be experimented on. Again, just like with those transients I pick up on the higway. My personal fave, is this latest batch of steroids. Cotton mouth, loss of appetite, and some jitters. Can’t beat it. I’m hpoing this is the batch that causes me to snap, I could use some excitement, outside of hockey, and basketball games. So yes, I am back on the roids, again. I’m weak, I’m naive, I’m stupid, what can I say. I just feel so pressured to perform at a high level, and I want to get an edge. I’m signing up for this ‘World Tour of Beers’ challenge at my favorite bar, and need a little boost, i don’t want to let anyone down. Don’t ask me what they, or any of the previous roids I took were called, these are loosey goosey times, and I have no way of knowing what’s in my body, at any given time. I just wanted to get this out there, before some butt-hole from Sports Illustrated smears my name in the mud. I admit it, I use the roids. Despite me offering cash to my doctor, I did not get the kind you inject in your hiney, just pills, but that’s cool. I do NOT apologize to my fans, roids are sweet. Now, if I can just get some of that natural HGH they extract from those eastern European orphans, and some cattle steroids, I’ll be golden.

I have a few problems with Americas healthcare system. No, I do not favor socialized health care. I feel it’s too costly for the masses, and the quality of care drops dramatically for the “big-boy” diseases. This is why so many saudi roayls, and swedish millionaires come to America for cancer treatment. Yes it is expensive, but so are tax attorneys, and both are worth it. The problem I have, is that when you call in to make an appointment, you have to tell some stranger receptionist, with no medical training, what your problem is. Now, the first thing the doctor is going to ask you when he actually sees you is, “what seems to be the problem”. A nurse-ish lady will also ask you that, and pretend to write things down, when really she’s just trying to figure out how to forge prescriptions, so she can score some oxycontin for her ex-con boyfriend. In my doctors office for example, the receptionist, is a pretty good looking young female. Now, I’m married, so it’s not a huge deal for me, but for single guys, it kills their chance before they even meet. In a perfect world, a single guy can hit on her, while he fills out forms, and maybe score a date. In the real world, she can look at the little piece of paper from when he called in, and see that “it burns when he pees”, and he has no chance. Even beyond trying to pick up chicks, we should still have some privacy. Why should we tell our problems to some chick in Ugg boots? Our medical problems should be between us, and our doctors, and whomever is around them when they get really drunk, thats it. My problems were pretty minor, but just in case they get to be serious one day, I’d like to discuss it with my doctor, and go from there. Today for example, she asked what was wrong with me. I really, really wanted to say something cool like, “I have a dead gerbal stuck in my ass” but against my better judgement, I just told her “I think I have posion ivy”. Of course miss smarty pants High School grad said “even though it’s winter time… Screw you missy. Where did you go to med School, ITT Tech, or the mall? I’ve decided that today is the last time I tell some stranger, who can in no way help me, what my medical problems are. Next time she asks, I am going to refuse to speak, and if she must know, well then she’s just going to have to go through life thinking I have a gerbal stuck in my anus, or that I glued my pee-hole shut. Then we’ll see whose so smart, won’t we.

The good, the bad, and the shitty

I had a pretty solid weekend, here in the recently thawed out state of Ohio. It started off with a bang, and has been a bit of a rollercoaster ever since.

The Good: Friday, I had the luck, and the honor, to be back on the road again, between Cincy and Columbus. So much fun there, but luckilly the trip was a quick one, and I was back in town before the roads got too crowded. The absolute highlight of this trip, was my lunch options. I opted to get back on the road as fast as I could, as opposed to stopping to eat someplace with beer, and t.v. Instead, I went the fastfood route, and this might have been the best decisionI’ve ever made. I had heard rumors for some time, about this magical Wendy’s that still had the Big Bacon Classic on the menu, but I didn’t want to get my hopes up. This Wendy’s was in the same area, where Ohio’s ill-fated casino was supposed to go, so it could have been a mirrage. I pulled up to the order screen, and did not see it. It’s normal spot in the value-meal batting order had been replaced, just like everywhere else, with that damned Baconator. Moments before I snapped into a violent rage, I noticed something, right smack in the middle of the menu, with no picture to it. There it was. The Big Bacon Classic. One of the finest sandwiches ever created. A sandwich that had for some reason disapeared, and caused me great heartache. I have had the baconator a few times. Each time I prayed it would live up to the standards set by the Big Bacon Classic. It never did. I have asked for a regular 1/4 lb. single, with bacon on it. This concept is foreign to Wendy’s workers. Well on this day, all my hard work, and networking had paid off. I had the Big Bacon Classic combo meal, and it was perfect. The bun, the meat, the toppings, and of course the bacon. Oh, it was a magical day. The fries were even perfect too. I admit, I teared up a little bit as I ate it. Truly a glorious day. Friday night did suck, as the Blue Jackets got stomped in Shittsburgh.

Saturday, and sunday, were relaxing, and wonderful. Dylan was very playfull, and we chased eachother all around the house. We didn’t do anything too exciting, just had fun together.

We had a few more athletes get into trouble. Mainly A-Rod, which we shall get into later.

The Bad: I seem to be a medical miracle. Last summer, I had a pretty bad case of poison ivy. Well, somehow, it is back. It’s in all the same places, and looks, and feels, exactly like poison ivy. I know thee was no way I had any contact with it, and it’s not on any of my clothes. I’ll be going to the doc today to get to the bottom of this. I’m beginning to wonder if my original diagnoses of ‘Super-AIDS’ wasn’t spot on.

The Shitty: Yesterday was a banner day for me. I set a new personal record. I took a dump in 3 different gas stations, all of which were B.P. stations. Growing up, I had a lot of friends whose parents worked at the B.P. refinery, so I’m glad I got a chance to support the home team. 3 dumps, in 3 different gas stations is hard work. I’m not used to pushing myself that hard, and am feeling the after-affects of it today. The highlight reel dump, was the first one. I again, was in the middle of nowhere between Columbus, and Cincy. I went a little hard on the coffee, and this was an emergency stop. Someone had tried to open the door when I was "doing my business". Even though it was a multi-person unit, and I was the only one in there, I still like to lock up shop, so I have some room to work. When I finished, I walked out, hoping I could wink at whoever was waiting to go into the bathroom I had just performed a hate crime in. It was a Highway Patrolman. Take that you bastards. Not only did I get to give a cop the worst five minutes of his day (I forgot to flush) but I had smooth sailing on the Interstate. Being a rural area, and it was early on a monday, he had to be the only Statie for miles, and miles, leaving me free to haul ass.

I’m so happy!

The other day I stated, that despite the lack of a lot of sports, and cold weather, this might be my favorite time of the year. That little period of time between the end of the NFl season, and the start of Sprin Training for baeball. Yeah, there is less to watch on t.v. but this is the mating season for athlete getting in trouble. Baseball players enjoying their last moments of freedom before the season, and football players who suddenly have nothing to do. It reaches the Apex right around the NBA All-Star game, which still exists solely for sports writers to have something to talk about, with everyone getting in trouble. Though it started slow, it’s really picked up in the last few days, and should get even better. Hopefully this will be the biggest Athlete/Jack-ass season yet.

One of my favorite former Buckeyes is in trouble again. Terry Glenn, who is listed as a free agent, was arrested on suspicion of D.U.I, and posession of Weed. Well done Terry. I’m sure there will be a ton of teams looking to dish out major cash to an aging WR with knee problems, who has already served suspensions, back when the NFL had a much lighter drug policy. My Bengals again, could use Glenn’s services. not only would he make a sweet mentor for Chris Henry, but he’d help fill that slot receiver role once we get rid of T.J. Houshmandzadeh. Thak god we aren’t going to frnchise tag that dude. Who wants a Pro-bowler on their team?

The leader for my favorite stupid-offseason athlete story, is my Reds best pitcher, Edinson Volquez. Though he likely won’t face an arrest, ya gotta love his judgement. What was he doing? A video was released of him, and some shitty Dominican rap star rolling around in Volquez’s tricked out SUV. No biggie right? see for yourself. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4wkmqrib7U Thats what you want to do. Ride around with a dominican rap star, a gun, and a camera. What could go wrong? Plus, it always helps your driving skills when you have a movie playing on the visor LCD screen. At least he was wearing a Reds hat.

It truly is a great time to be alive. Lets hope so more people can do more stupid shit, in the coming days. That NBA all-star game is creeping up on us.

Excellence in blogging

We have achieved excellence! Finally, all the hard work, all the stupid debates, all the drinking, has lofted this site to the high standards I was dreaming of when it got started. Every few days, i like to go on the admin. section of this site, and check out some things. I see the stats of how many folks check in, what they are reading and, most importantly, what search engine terms brought in new readers. Sadly, a lot of poor bastards get sucked into this site by searching for ‘How to save the pandas’. This one is on here almost daily, and most times more than one per day. ‘Tara Reids boob’ seems to be a big hit also. ‘Erin Andrews’ is another crowd favorite, but these just scratch the surface. My dream, was to get this site to come up after the worst google search of all time, and I think we have it. The top one, is just a miracle, for me, for us, and for the poor chick who poured her heart out into google search.

Search Engine Terms

These are terms people used to find your blog.

Today

Search	Views
osu hot football girl	1

Yesterday

Search	Views
i have a big clit	2
panda	2
tara reid boob job	2
tara reid’s vagina	2
tara reid bad boob job	1
tara reed boob job	1

 

Not once, but twice, some poor chick with a giant clitoris was looking for help, and somehow ended up here. Welcome to the team huge clit girl. You’ll be a popular guest amongst many of our loyal readers. You freak.

Finally…

It’s taken a lot of waiting, but one of my favorite times of year has arrived. That time of the year, when athletes start getting arrested. Once the NCAA and NFL football seasons end, it’s only a matter of time. From the end of the season, through the NBA all-star game, is the hot stove league of football players getting arrested. Sure, they can get arrested anytime, and the summer season provides a ton of entertaining stories of guys being stupid, but this next few weeks, is always the best. This week, has started things off with a bang.

Former Ohio State left tackle, and worthless turd Alex boone, is the frontrunner for this seasons best arrest. http://www.dispatch.com/live/content/sports/stories/2009/02/03/boone_arrest.ART_ART_02-03-09_C1_AVCPCOT.html?sid=101 Boone, jumps to the leader board for best mug shot, as he did his sans-shirt. I love a good athlete mugshot. Boone, is a big dude, who seems to have a wee bit of a drinking problem. As a freshman, he got an underage DUI, and admitted to have a binge drinking problem. He claimed to drink a case or so of beer every night, which made him one of my favorite players for the Buckeyes. Later, it was discovered that he couldn’t block anything with legs, thus making him dead to me. Apparently, this time around, he had again drank well over a case of beer, while celebrating his former teamate Santonio Holmes MVP performance. He was doing his best King Kong impression, jumping on cars, smashing things, threatening people, right up until he got tazered. Is there anything greater than a huge drunken athlete getting tazed by the police? Boone, was rumored to be a 2nd or 3rd round pick after last season, but decided to come back for his senior year, so he could practice his not-blocking. According to the experts, his stock had fallen to middle to late round pick. Now, he appears to be a long shot to even get drafted. Well done Alex, you magnificent bastard. I can only hope, my Cincinnati Bengals can give him a 3rd chance, when they look for to fill the void at tackle. Sure he is of no actual value to them, but the Bengals have gone way to long without a good arrest.

Michael Phelps, is also enjoying this time of year. http://www.cctv.com/program/sportsscene/20090202/images/1233537524529_1233537524529_r.jpg Poor mike forgot that being famous, gave people a reason to take your picture when you hit the pipe. Being a swimmer, nobody really cares, but I like that he’s stepping up, and getting into trouble just like the big boys. I do feel a little sorry for Phelps. Who cares if he smokes a little weed. When stories about him eating 12,000 calories a day came out, nobody thought about the munchies? The dude is a swimmer, swimmers are weird, he’s loaded already, and isn’t going to do anything else for about 3 more years. let him get into trouble. Don’t be outraged by a picture of him smoking weed. Would you think the same way about him if you didn’t see him smoking weed? The difference between him, and about 98% of the famous athletes in the world, is he forgot he was famous, and someone took a picture of him. Michael, I give you some props for stepping up, and getting into trouble. Next time, try and actually get arrested, and maybe even kill a hooker.

What did you do for the game?

For guys, the Super Bowl is a huge deal. It’s one of the few events each year that we mark on our calendar. Even when we have nothing to do for the game, we’re always doing something. If you have anything at all swinging between your legs, you are tuned in, no matter what. For half of my life, the Super Bowl was awful. My Bengals pitched in for two of the best ever, but I had to sit and watch a lot of blowouts. In recent years, the games have gotten to be great again. Even if it was sloppy, or hard to watch, the finish made up for everything. Not the commercials, the anthem, or the half time show, the game is what we tune in to see. Most guys can remember where they were at, and what they were doing, when they see highlights from Super Bowls past. All the other things that go into it, like the commercials, and the halftime show, just add to the appeal, and make it an event even the women who don’t care about football, will watch. Whether you went to a friends house, a party, a bar, or just stayed home, chances are you make the super bowl more than just a regular Sunday night. However, I gotta think my Super bowl watching story, is as bad as it gets. Thanks to my God Damned Dog.

The night started out great. It was a beautiful day, we all stayed home and hung out, and enjoyed the day. I even made chicken wings, which pretty much could fix even the worst of days. My 10 month old son was awake for the first half, and added some distraction for the almost un-watchable part of the game. He went to bed around halftime, but not before i had to Watch Springstein’s horrible performance. Once he went to sleep, I went to the basement to watch the game on the big screen, in HD, with beer. A pretty good combo right there. The third quarter came and went without much excitement. As the game itself started to get good, my night started to get bad. Really bad. I heard my wife say “Something smells”. I kinda winced. ‘Find the smell’ is a game married couples get to play from time to time. When you have an evil cat, a bastard of a dog, and a mobile, adventurous 10 month old son, ‘find the smell’ is a game nobody wins. I hoped it was just her imagination, and tuned back into the game. Then she said something, that I knew was going to be bad for me. Smell, or no smell. “You need to come up here” she said. Halfway up the stairs, I was beginning to find the smell, and it was not good, not even for an Indian person’s taste. She was staring down at the rug under the dinner table, and I knew my night was pretty well fucked. There, right in the middle of the rug was a big, foul smelling brownish stain, that was already soaking in to the rug. What it was, I will never know, but I knew the damn dog was behind this one. Which end from the dog it came from, is open for debate. The viscosity, and color said the front end, the smell said the back end of the dog. My best guess, is that he had been harvesting his own waste in the backyard (as that is what it smelled like), and surprisingly it did not agree with him. He likes to figure out what things are by eating them first, and then going from there. If he sees something, that was not in that spot an hour earlier, he eats it, just in case it turns out to be delicious. There was no time to debate exactly what we were dealing with here, we needed to take action. Our entire house is either tile, or wood flooring. One of the reasons we did this, was for times like this. For some reason, our dog can only get sick on carpeted areas. When he was a puppy, he never had an accident on any spot that wasn’t carpet, or rug. As an adult dog, he for whatever reason likes to puke on rugs, Bad for us, but great for the economy, and the rug industry, as we buy a lot of them, and they never last long. This one, had somehow managed to survive quite a while, which is good, because it was not a cheap rug. First, we had to move the table, which is antique, and not easy to move. Once this thing was out of the way, we assessed the damage. I said “I’m just gonna roll it up, and throw it on the deck until I find someplace to throw it away”. There was a long pause, and then my wife said those seven words that have lead to the end of countless marriages. “I wanna try and save that rug”. I kinda just blacked out for a few minutes, and found myself outside, in the dark, during the Super Bowl, with a big-assed rug spread out on a snow drift in front of me. The only chance this rug had, was to be hosed off, and then go from there. Since it is Ohio, and it is winter, my hose had long since been put away. I found the hose in the garage, hoped it wasn’t frozen, hooked it up, and went to town. This was actually working, as far as I could tell. It was dark, and I had been drinking, so who knows. I gathered a wide variety of cleaning products, and began scrubbing. All the while, Rudi, the dog who did all this, was tossing me his squeeky-ball, and wanting to play. I hosed it off again, and thank God for the snow drift, as the water was just washing over the edge, and not running to the un-effected areas of the rug. Now, where does one place a huge area rug to dry out in the winter time? I decided the upper level of the deck would work best. Has anyone ever dragged a soaked with ice water area rug, through snow, and up stairs, by themself? It’s not as awesome as it sounds, I do admit. All the while, the damn dog was barking at me, because he thought we had gone out there to play. I fought off the urge to budgeon him to death. Patience with stupid people was one of my New Years resolutions, and this was good practice. I sat the rug on the deck, so it could dry, and or freeze into a big rolled up tube, where it awaits its fate. Is it clean? Is it ruined? It was too dark to tell, and I didn’t care. Besides, I can always kill the dog later, it was to cold for that, and it was the Super Bowl. When I went back in, my wife just kinda gave me that look ’sorry’. She said “thanks for doing that”, and all was well. How could I be mad? it wasn’t her fault, and the dog is retarded, so that is what it is. I washed up, thawed out my hands, and was elated to see that the DVR was still running. I did get to see the end of the game. Not a bad night, if you take out that horrible, horrible hour there in the fourth quarter.

How’d we do?

As we look back on this super bowl, you have to ask, how’d we do betting wise? Not that great, to be quite honest. Before we break down my betting tips, lets go over the game itself. Am I the only one who watches the Steelers, and is reminded of The Ohio State Buckeyes. Yes, the Steelers actually won the game, unlike OSU, but the simalarities are endless. Defensive minded team, who sits back in zone coverage. Run first offense, who plays ball control, and field position, to win games. When Fitz. went through that seam, and broke the tackle and ran into the endzone, it was De Ja-Vu all over again. I’m glad I’m not a steelers fan. not only would I look stupid with a mullet, but my heart would not be able to handle both my football teams playing that way. it was nice to see Santonio put it in for the win. Go Bucks!

Secondly, was that not the worst halftime performance ever? What a freakin joke that was. Off pitch, out of breathe, and sounding like shit. That pretty much sums up the “boss’ on this one. I know, Springstein is an icon, but you have to ask yourself ‘why’? he kinda sucks, and really blew on this night. I think maybe society has told us for to long how great someone is, and then it spins out of control from there. the dude has a couple good songs, ut none would ever make my playlist, and I can’t see myself paying to see him live. Definitely not after that show. The combo of Kid Rock, Aerosmith, and Britney Spears was somehow better than that. He wasn’t working on a dream, he was working on a stroke. I know, he has a cult like following, and you can’t say anything bad about him, but I’m gonna step up and call that the worst halftime show to date. The only thing that turd has done of any value, is give us Max Wienberg, the Sopranos guy, and Courtney Cox. If you didn’t know that dude was an American “Icon”, you would have tuned out, or demanded your money back, even if you were watching for free.

So the bets. I went 5-6 after coming up just short on a few key bets.

Heads: Nailed that one

Cards winning the toss: Nailed it.

Over/Under-46.5: Knocked it out of the park. A great start.

Steelers, minus 7 points: Had they gone for 3 after that last TD, we’d be golden.

9.5 Punts total: Missed by one, what can I say there. I blame the wind.

185 plus yards total rushing: Not even close, I do admit.

1.5 total fumbles lost: Arizona recovered their own fumble on one, and another was over-turned by replay. I feel I was screwed on this one, by G.E.

Over 44.5 total points: Back in the winners circle on this one. 23-27!

Over 11.5 Penalties: Arizona almost did this one on their own, easy money.

Over 5.5 total sacks. Missed by one. 3 holding penalties on that turd left tackle for AZ, as he did half-assed attempts at blocking James Harrison, and one holding in the end zone for a safety, I’m taking this one to court.

over 2.5 players with a pass attempt: How the hell, do you line up with Willy Parker at QB, in the wildcat, with nowhere to run, and not throw it away? That would have sealed it. Plus, if the Cards had gone with Matt Leinart on that final drive, they’d be passing the Lombardi trophy in Matt’s hot tub with a bunch of topless ASU sluts.

So again, sorry to anyone who lost money on my advice. We were so close.  But, as the calendar flips over to Feb. we know what that means. Six more weeks of shit, until March Madness hits full stride.