I’m sorry

I’m sorry Cincinnati Reds, I never should have doubted you. My faith in all of mankind has been restored, I have a reason to go on with life. Moments before I took my own life, in a rather sophisticated, and well planned murder-suicide plot, my wife informed me of an email. (lucky for her) It was from the Cincinnati Reds. The same Reds, whom hours before I had sworn off for ever. I had even started shopping my services as an asshole fan to other MLB teams. I was aiming for another shitty team, so i wouldn’t have to deal with the success that the good teams face. I had already settled on the Washington nationals, since they suck really bad, and I already had been disappointed by their entire team, when they were on the reds roster the past decade. Lucky for me, and the Nationals, my ole Redlegs came through in the clutch. They informed us, that since we had bought one of their gay Power Packs last season, they were going to give us a chance to buy another Gay Power Pack, before they went on sale to the general public. The power packs, though gay, and a waste of money, come with an opening day ticket, and there is always some sucker out there too lazy to go online to buy his own tickets, forcing him to buy my leftover tickets. Anyone wanna buy a ticket to see the Reds take on the Pirates in September? I smell a 99 cent sale on ebay. So anywhoo, I am back with the reds. I know, I said I was done, but come on. Did you really think I could stay mad forever. The roughly 24 hours or so, that I had sworn them off, is about par for the course with me. I know, I said I wouldn’t buy the Power pack, but it’s opening day! Plus, I get a chance to buy them before they go on sale to the general public. Anything that promotes elite-ism, and separates me from the Cretans that make up “the general public”, I’m all for. So, just as soon as my lifelong dream of getting my name on a jumbo-tron, and throwing a beer onto the field during an opening day reds loss had died, it rose from the ashes, and is back on schedule. The new plan, is to call the reds box office every 2 to 3 hours and ask if they will put my name on the Jumbo-tron. All is right in the world.