When does it start?

Quick note: Dylan went back to the ENT surgeon dude today. Still no hot nurses in that office if anyone was wondering. Everything is good to go. Both ears are perfect, and baby boy is as happy as ever. Merry Christmas to us!

On this beautiful central Ohio morning. I awoke to discover that all through the night we were visited by that magical winter-time visitor. Freezing Rain! Apparently this time it was just freezing drizzle, according to whichever homo-weather dude was on my t.v. at o-dark-thirty. What the difference is? Who the hell knows? My guess is, freezing rain makes you fall on your ass within 15 feet of your front door. Freezing drizzle, you make it at least 20 feet before you wipe out. Just plain cold covers that 5 foot buffer zone in between. Since I had parked my truck outside, and have to leave early for a meeting that I had postponed once already, I needed to get moving, and the first step, was to scrape my frozen windows. The best part about freezing rain, is it is actually bulletproof, and can’t be scraped off of vehicle glass without using some type of I.E.D. or saying ‘fuck’ a bunch of times. Lucky for me, I use F-bombs like some people use oxygen. One of my neighbors was also in the midst of scraping, while the neighbor to the other side seemed to be backing out of her garage without a care in the world. Hearing her tires make that screeching noise that spinning rubber on ice makes, was the second sign that today was going to be one big shit pile. I decided that a few minutes late wouldn’t hurt anyone. So I put the defrost on full go, went inside to mellow out, and wait for the laws of science to melt away my ice covered hell. As I sat trying to think of ways to postpone this meeting yet again, my mind began to wonder. When exactly does one fully hate the hell that is a mid-western winter? This year for me, it was ass slapping my bottom two steps after totally under-estimating my traction. It was later reinforced when I was mid-air, deciding which was more important. A $2.00 coffee, or the back of my skull. I chose the coffee, and, am glad I did. I may be selling myself short though? Maybe I decided winter sucks during that 3 minute period when I was hacking away at the layer of solid ice on my windshield like a spider monkey on redbull. Or was it when my finally thawed out window had become so murky with road salt, and brine, and I realized the mechanism that squirts washer fluid, was still froze over. Of course it could have been when I parked at my office, and realized that I could not get from my car to the front door, because the iced-over blacktop sloped away from the building, and mere mortals can’t walk uphill on ice, while carrying coffee, and paperwork.  Yeah winter! Of course tomorrow will be different. The roads will be clear, the ice melted away, and all hope will be restored. I actually do enjoy winter. The cool air in your lungs. The snow covered landscape. The holiday feel we all grew up to know and love. College basketball, hockey, and the promise of spring. A true winter is tough to beat, and I actually do look forward to it every year. Sitting on your ass all day watching bowl games is not the same for people in warm climates. It’s like Porn stars. Do they get exited about the possibility of getting laid, when they do that all day, every day? No. Having to work for it is half the battle. A bright, snow covered winter day is a thing of beauty, and can’t be taken for granted. The bad part is, it seems like one out of every 4 days during the winter, Jack frost reaches up and bites you in the ass. Mother nature bag-tags you just when you think it’s safe. A ski trip, a warm fire, and a bottle of booze, is something I long for every year. Falling on my ass, and doing 180’s in my vehicle I do not. So if anyone else out there had a day like mine. let me know. When did you remember you fucking hate winter?

On a side note. Terminator 3 is on tonight. What the hell ever happened to the hot terminator? How can someone like the hideously deformed and repulsive Maggie Gyllenhal get to be in the batman movie, when that chick is nowhere to be found? Life is unfair. And my Jackets won on an awesome O.T. goal against the best team in the NHL! The run begins now. look out 12th place, here we come!