Andre Ware is a turd

Did anyone see Andre Ware trashing Jim Tressell of all people, for “piling on”? Does this dude have brain damage? First, and foremost, the game wasn’t exactly a blow-out when he said it. OSU was up 3 scores, early in the 4th. Northwestern could have came back, not likely, but possible. It’s happened a lot of times before. Maybe not at a gay theatre school like Northwestern, but it could happen. Tressell, ran a fake punt, with a punter who apparently learned to walk, just days before the game, and got the first down. It worked, and OSU kept the ball. Another first down or two, and it was all over. OSU tossed it deep, and scored. Ware got all over the Vest for running up the score. Claiming, “They gotta remember that they have to play the Wildcats every year, it’s a confrence team, and I’m sure they’d want nothing more than to return the favor”. Let me state this loud and clear. The day Northwestern, runs the score up on my Buckeyes in football, is the day I kill myself. I stand by that. Does he think Northwestern is good at sports not involving eye shaddow, glitter or an Epee? Maybe it could be that OSU still has two games left to prove something. One against a team that has pretty well figured them out, the other against their most hated rival, who has nothing to play for except beating the bucks. Does he think our offense has been clicking on all cylinders game in, and game out? It’s not like we have any offensive momentum, week after week. Don’t you think giving your frosh QB as many snaps as possible is the best bet? It’s pretty far into the season, the more stuff you put on film, the harder your opponents have to prepare. Maybe it’s the fact that the NCAA has shortened travel rosters, and some starters have to play the whole game. Our defense is just fine, hell we had a freshman backup get back to back sacks. Our offense needs the reps, and maybe the Wildcats’s first team D isn’t as good as our scout team, but it’s good to give them some live reps. Sorry Andre, that our backup tailback broke a kill the clock play for another TD. Maybe it’s my old age, but how did Andre Ware win the Heisman at Houston again? Was it scoring gritty TD’s after long drives against top opponents, or racking up stats against UTEP? Hmmm. Let me think about this one. Andre, you are a turd. You couldn’t even beat out Rodney Pete, or Eric Kramer for the Lions starting job. That was tough, hand it to barry until the whistle blows. You couldn’t even land a guest role on that crappy show with Rodney Pete’s wife, ‘Mr. Cooper’. If the vest lays 80 on Dick-rod, then you can get on him for “piling” on. A team that scored 6, and 3 in it’s two big stage losses, isn’t piling on. They are trying to get better. Something that I’m sure Lions fans wished you knew how to do.

I’ve recently discovered something that may change my life forever. There’s this guy, who owns a business in Central OH. They do all kinds of stuff like, insurance, investments etc. He has the gayest commercials I’ve ever seen. A lot of his commercials have included his children. On some, he super-imposes his lips on their faces, so a little baby is describing his services, with his voice. So gay. He also has this retarded jingle, for his phone number. Each branch of his company has a different number, with it’s own retarded jingle. Watching the commercials, one says to themself, “I hope some day, I have the chance to kick that guy in the balls.” I might be getting my chance. Yesterday, I discovered this buttholes kids, go to the same day care as my son. At first, I was hesitant. I didn’t want to get my hopes up. I saw a waaay to large SUV, with personalized plates, the ultimate sign of a tool. The plates had the name of his company, proving my theory on tools. Is someone gonna flag him down and give him money because he has the name of his gay company on his plates? Isn’t most of his business going to go down in his, or someone else’s office? Where they will kinda know who he is, and hopefully be getting some better advertising from such crazy things as business cards, or company letterheads? Anywho, back to the main story. After a second day of seeing his vehicle, I confirmed it was the turd from t.v. He was parked kinda at an angle, right in front of the entrance, where the mini school bus that takes kinder-garden kids to and from school loads up. He’s waaaaay to cool for the few dozen “normal” parking spots along the side of the building. He was there when I went in, got my kid, talked to the staff, gathered his things, and still there after I had strapped my son in his carseat, and drove off. the whole process can take 15 minutes or more, depending on the day. This dick sits, basically in a fire lane, in his truck, with the engine running, while somebody else goes inside to get his kids. the same little bastards he exploits for his gay commercials. And soon, I will kick him in the balls. This is a unique opportunity for me. I’m a dreamer, and a dickhead, and this may be the first time in my life, I get the chance to take my rage out on someone from t.v. who I hate. We made eye contact through his windows, it’s definitely him. My luck is at an all time high. Imagine being able to slap Jerod from subway, or give the where’s the beef chick a titty twister, of choke slam Miss Cleo? Soon, I will exact t.v. revenge. It’s like running into the “dude you’re getting a Dell” kid in a dark alley. It’ll be a victimless crime when I kick him square in the nuts. If he’s there again sitting his his truck, practicing being an annoying bastard, I may just “accidentally” ram my truck into his as I back out of my “normal person” parking space, and then drive off like nothing happened. I figure any cop who has to file the report, if they can muster the strength to not kick this dude in the balls, will either throw the report out, or find me, and buy me a beer. I’ll be sure to let everyone know, when I slap him in his big fake tanned head, and say “880-DICK”! It’s going to be awesome. This is proof, that having kids is the best thing ever. I just wish I could have known all this sooner. I could have given that crying indain dude standing in all the trash, a swift kick to the balls.