Predicting failure
October 30, 2008
My quest, for the Bengals to go 0-16, has hit a snag. Apparently, some of the inmates are fighting back. T.J. Houshmanzadeh issued a guarantee today. That the team would win at least two games. What the hell is he trying to prove. Two wins could get us the 5th pick this year. Has he not read my plan. I’ve been Fedex-ing cans of skyline chilli to Bill Cowher. Two wins is considered decent to Mike Brown, he might re-sign Marvin Lewis after 2 wins. I’ve looked at the schedule, I’ve seen all their games. It ain’t gonna happen, unless they face a team that benches everyone to rest up for the playoffs. As tight as the entire league is this year, nobody is going to be able to do that until at least week 16, more likely week 17. The Bengals play the Browns, and the Chiefs those games. Neither has much of a shot at the playoff’s. If Palmer comes back, hey cincy could win. What really disturbs me, is kinda under the surface of T.J’s words. First, there are 8 games left. Shouldn’t he, as a team leader, and one of the few remaining non-arrested/non-suspended/ talented players on the roster, be portraying some hope, some confidence to rally the troops. Shouldn’t he say, we can win the rest? What about, this team isn’t giving up yet? No. Just the two wins. That’s it. I can’t blame the guy for being a realist, but don’t be the guy who gauruntee’s a 2-14 season. If you read between the lines, he just said, “we will beat the Browns, and the Chiefs, and may beat the spread in one of the other games, but that’s it. Not exactly a becon of hope, but when you’re rooting for last place, it’s music to my ears.
Good to see the message boards are getting heated up. I especially like the personal attacks amongst my loyalists. Exxxxxcellent. It’s all falling into place now, soon the entire nation will be fighting amongst themselve’s, and I can sit back and watch. Keep it clean, it’s just an election, unless of course what you write about someone makes me laugh, then by all means, attack! Everyone needs to keep one thing in perspective. In able to run for President in this country, one has to be a total Dick, and worthless by almost all other standards. No matter what your political background, if you are reading this you are too young to have lived to see a good President. Sit back, enjoy the drama, hate the oppostition, and for God’s sake, vote Libertarian. And you better vote for the damned Casino.
Good news on the parenting front. Despite the obvious handi-cap, of being the parent without the boobs, I may have taken the lead. Of course, the human ear can sometimes hear what it wants to hear (like when somebody listens to the Beatles and thinks they are talented) but this morning, Dylan said Da Da. I am the Winner! Month’s of hard work, bribes, and a total lack of discipline, have springboarded me into the favorite parent role. My wife, claims that it was just jibberish, but I could see the jealousy in her eye’s. Those middle of the night breast feeding sessions just can’t compete with me being totally awesome. My wife has also made some slanderous comments, suggesting that the words Dada, is commonly the first words of many babies. She stated some “facts” about it being the easiest sounds for a baby to make, when trying to talk. The problem with “facts” is that more times than not, they don’t benefit my argument, so they should be ignored. I do have to admit, I was really expecting his first words to be “God Damn it Rudi” or “Fucking Chris Perry”. Oh well, in due time. In the end, he has an awesome mommy, and my days at the top will be numbered, but I, of course will gloat in the mean time.
I would prefer to fight other CT bloggers in person rather than with keystrokes over the internet. Ever notice how bold and strong everyone is online? A bunch of tough mother fuckers.
On a lighter note, trick or treating was super fun tonight. Congrats to CT on baby DT saying da-da first.
Congrats D-man, now it’s time to learn profanities!
I need some advice so let’s put it to a vote:
My fantasy football team is struggling this year, ever since tom brady got hurt in week one, it’s been tough. Aaron Rodgers has been ok, but the rest of my team sucks. My stud is clearly Frank Gore, and now someone wants to take him away. I have been offered Jamal Lewis and Terrell Owens for Gore. This sounds good at first, but with Romo out who knows how good TO will be, and Lewis is a Brown, that never ends well. I just saw this movie where this guy was an awesome football player, then he became a Brown and died. The moral of the story was don’t be a Browns player or fan, no matter how much the Bengals suck. I’d appreciate anyone’s advice on this one.
If you are “boo” and are looking for your comment, sorry, it got erased. I realize EHS has a shitty football team, but that would be the result of idiots raising spoiled pussies with little to no athletic abillity. Your comment, “Great. Football, advice from an Elida coach…” proved you have huffed too much sprint car exhaust at Limaland. DRF was asking for advice (see my reading test from last week to see if you have a learning dissabillity.) not giving it. Simple commas, phrases and question marks should have been your first hint. I realize you know more about football than anyone alive, and simply chose to not become a Pro coach because your life is sooo awesome and, it is easy to see a team lose by 45 plus, and think, it has to only be the coaching. Losing by 6 because you mismanaged your timeouts, and ran out of clock, is because of coaching. Fielding teams of small, slow, white kids, who are affraid of getting hurt is the more likely scenario here. I’m sure you think that if you were at the helm, a few wonderous trick plays here, a single wing formation there would lead to a miracle season. Keep thinking that way Vince Lombardi Jr. I’m sure whoever you are, could really turn things around. Lay off the Disney movies you buttfucker. Funny or not, have the balls to print your name if you want to crack on my brother. Bitch. You should also vote NO, and fail a few more levies, while you are at it. That always fixes everything. (for the record, I am not having a trentonio fit of madness, there really was an anti-elida coaching comment here, but it had to get deleted. Cheerio!)
Was it Boo Radley from the book To Kill a Mockingbird? Kind of a scary fellow, Boo was. Seeing that it is halloween, it could have been Boo Berry. I hear he and Count Chocula like to get on blogs and start arguments.
Thanks bro, it’s easy to criticize from behind the stands. I didn’t get into this job because it was easy. I never saw the post from boo but if you’d like to talk more, you know where to find me. If anyone wants to rip on Elida football, here is a bit of information you need to know. It is the first time in 20 years (thats 1988 to people who can’t subtract) that all of our younger teams had winning seasons in the same year. We cancelled our freshman season to move them up to better competition againsty JV’s and still went 7-2. I will have two all-league defensive linemen this year with one of them returning. yes we went 0-10 and gave up a million yards a game and 1000 points (not really) but there will be better days coming soon. I am already looking forward to 2009 where the days of us being laughingstocks will come to an end.
Go Dawgs
Wow I would like to seen boo comments. Nobody that lives in elida even knows what good football is including myself. That being said chris there was no doubt in my mind that you would be picked as the cooler parent. Congrats on Da Da
I agree. Chris is a way cooler parent.
Joe Jitsu, something tells me you dressed up on Thursday. ‘Fess up.