Save Our Casino
October 27, 2008
People lets make this real simple. Take out all the tax questions, all the intangibles behind both sides of the story for whether or not Ohio can get a Casino. Forget everything you have read, or seen on t.v. It comes down to one simple question. Are you a dickhead? If so, then by all means vote against my Casino. If not, vote YES on issue 6 in Ohio. The fact of the matter is this, almost anyone who will vote against the Casino, has no plans to ever go to it, if it opens. It’s like letting married people vote as to whether or not single folks can get laid. Do the world a favor, and give us a Casino. Just over an hour from Columbus, just under an hour from cincy, it’s perfect. For those who still have questions, I’m ready to set you straight.
The commercials against it are using a lot of “confusing” words. By confusing I mean taking advantage of the fact that 90% of our population is retarded. They say things like, “a loop hole that could make the casino have a tax rate of 0%. First off, the “loop hole” is that the Casino will only ever have to pay the same tax rate as any other new casino in Ohio. If that Casino has a tax rate of zero, then so would this one. In able for the 2nd casino (which is nowhere in sight) to have to pay a 0% tax rate, you would have to vote on it in the future. Even if the Casino pays no taxes, that’s the exact same ammount that all of our non-existent casino’s are paying, so who gets hurt there? If they pay no taxes, the drinks will be cheaper, and they will have more money for things like an awesome golf course, better restraunts, hotel rooms, and better entertainment. Right now the big draws coming to central Ohio are Reba Mcentire with Kelly Clarkson, and Larry the Cable guy. I’m not even going to make jokes about that. They also use terms like “having to ammend the constitution”. The Ohio revised code has a law banning casino’s, the only way to change that is to……ammend the constitution. They also say horrible things like “out of state Casino operators”. Again, since casino’s are banned in Ohio, they kinda have to be from out of state.
The opponents also laid out a list in the newspaper, why the casino is bad. here they are, and the reason’s they are retarded.
1. It will take away from lottery money, which helps pay for schools. – The lottery is a voluntary tax on the stupid, don’t waste your money anyway. Spend it on blackjack, at least you get a few free drinks from that, so it’s kind of a wash. Very little of that money goes to the schools anyway, most of it gets pilleged on great ideas like “rare coin” scandals and douche baggery. Besides, if the schools all get that much worse, because they lose out on the “trillions” of lottery dollars, the crappy students can get jobs at the new casino’s.
2. It will lead to more gambling addicts: If you are on the edge of becoming a gambling addict, you are already screwed, and will blow all your money on scratch off tickets, sporting events, and bingo games anyway. People can chose whether or not to become addicted to things, and they can chose to overcome it as well. That is the difference between fake diseases, often ending in “isms” and real diseases like cancer, and crabs. People who are addicted to legal gambling, can only lose money they have. People who are addicted to illegal gambling, can lose all kinds of shit. Bookies can use all kinds of good things for credit and collateral, that casino’s can’t. So the casino wins out on that one as well.
3. It will take away money from surrounding businesses. There aren’t any, so who cares. All that is there, is a semi dealership, and the only wendy’s that still serves the Big Bacon Classic, which as long as it stays that way, can’t be touched by anyone.
4. It will lower the standards of living in the whole area. Yes. giving the backwards rednecks of this part of the state employment, and entertainment would be horrible. Imagine the effects of all those meth labs that would go un-attended, and all those lot lizzards at the local truck stop that would have to compete for the handjob market.
5. The casino operator has a casino that went bankrupt! : hold on I’ll type some stuff about this issue, as soon as I am done watching my favorite T.V. show. The Apprentice. How many times has that butthole Donald Trump’s casino gone bankrupt? How many times has most of his other businesses gone bankrupt? We still give him a show, and pretend that he’s the greates business mind of all time, even though he owes more people money than a travel agency in Columbus OH that sold “early bird” rates to the BCS title game. That dude has screwed over more working men than NAFTA. So one of this guys casino’s’ went out of business. Didn’t we just drop about 700 billion in tax money to companies that were urged by our own government to give loans to people with bad credit? Isn’t one of the big issues in the elections, how we can help out struggling companies? So he was booted from the stock exchange? If you take about an 8 minute lesson on investing, or financing, you’ll see that about 5,000 people who did a whole lot worse, either just got their asses saved, or are about to, by our tax dollars. Come on people there’s lots of shady business guys out there, most of the candidates we will elect have benefitted from a lot of them, we can’t single this dude out. Plus the guy who will own the casino is named Lyle. How can you not trust a dude named Lyle? I used to go to a barber named Lyle (after vern died). I’m yet to find a guy who cuts my hair as well as him, and Lyle Alzedo was awesome as well. Really, when it all comes down to it, the owner of this Casino reminds me a lot of a young, ‘Joe the Plumber’.
I hope this answers all your questions everyone. Vote yes on issue 6, for a far less crappy Ohio!
Hey, don’t make me come push you over a table like I did Vince McMahon.
I still think rare coins are a solid investment, and I also now like douche baggery spelled as two words. I believe it is more punctual, and brings more attention to not only the douche, but the act that he or she is commiting. Such as, “Hey, what is Tom Noe up to in prison. Oh, just the same douche baggery as always, he is trying to get other prisoners to buy into his anal rape insurance policy.”
If there is going to be a casino in Ohio, it has to be in southern Ohio. Other than that shithole home of my shitty reds and soon to be 0-16 bungles, there really isnt much to screw up. Anyone who’s been to Jeffersonville knows there’s nothing to lose. Granted, if somebody tried to build a casino in Gomer i’d be raising all kinds of hell next to Elwood, especially if it were to be run by Indians. We took there land and gave them Okalahoma, the Dakotas and a hapless baseball team with quite possibly the most offensive logo in sports, no need to be sore losers. Jim Thorpe got his gold medals back, what else do you want? If anyone’s building a casino in my state, it’s some guy who looks like joe pesci, robert deniro or al pacino and brings better acts than carrot top.
Coming from a place where I regularly ride my bike past two local Native American casinos… let me just say that A) They suck the big one…BORING, just old people playing slots B) They don’t bother anyone and they don’t degrade the surrounding area. Usually it is already degraded plenty.
I am assuming this Jeffersonville place already sucks and that this can only help to bring a little money in to their economy.
Good call by Hannah. And yes, the Jeffersonville area sucks.
Jeffersonville was named after me and I still think that area blows…. vote YES on Issue 6 and build that casino….
Bob Taft, go fuck yourself. Instead of googling the word douchebaggery, and seeing that I accidentally put a space in between the two words, why don’t you get a job.
DRF: you make it sound like having carrot top as the headline act is a bad thing.