MonsterQuest

I was flippin through the channels, when I stumbled upon the show MonsterQuest, on History HD. I was looking for shows about 9/11, but apparently my calendar is broken. Anywho, the title of the show was ‘The Ohio Grassman’ I tuned in, because I thought it might be about some of the kids I went to High School with, who sell pot. It’s not. Apparently there is a Big Foot creature in Ohio. The whole show is based on stupid white people, who claim to have seen a Wookie in Ohio. They all tell the story or stories about when they saw the BigFoot in Ohio, many even star in the re-enactments of their sightings. They also throw in some shitty footage, and other evidence, that this thing actually exists. This pisses me off. I’ve seen this particular show before, they have everything from a white trash dude, who claims to have been almost carried away by a giant bird. A teenwolfe in wisconsin, and Americas own Loch-Ness Monster. White people seem to be the only ones who ever see crazy shit like this. This goes right along with my theory on Exorcists. It only happens to white people. Most are fat, and bald, or even have a pony-tail. Has anyone ever seen any of the shows about people who are posessed by demons? they are almost always white, and super religious. Sometimes they have south americans, or eastern europeans, but those people are super catholic, so they are disqualified, on the whole crazy religious thing. It’s the same theory for the crazy “monster” thing. Only white people ever see this shit, or feel the need to tell people about it. Just once, I want to see somebody who isn’t at all religious be “posessed” by satan. Just once I want to hear some dude from Compton CA claim to need an excorcist. Why don’t black dudes ever see BigFoot? I want to see a bunch of Jewish dudes sitting out in the woods at night looking for monsters. I think the real reason could be that white people are just plain retarded. Those dudes who held that press confrence, and got on CNN last month, claiming to have a bigfoot corpse in a freezer…white dudes. Why can’t white people as a whole just be content on the outlets for retardation that society already provides. Wrestling wasn’t enough, so we came up with MMA. Larry the Cable Guy made like 9 movies. There’s like 30 kinds of energy drinks at every convenience store. NASCAR is like the entire year. Shouldn’t this be enough?

Some of the retarded white people in this show go out almost every weekend looking for the “Ohio Grassman”. From where they seem to be looking, is just over an hour from my house. I am currently looking for volunteers to go fuck with these guys. I was thinking, that since they are out there every night, looking for the “grassman” with a bunch of different cameras, the nice thing would be to give them one. I know, one guy dressed up in a chewbacca costume walking past their camera would be pretty sweet. How sweet would it be if they stumbled upon an all-male wookie orgy? I figure 7 volunteers should do it.