Buckle up

The 2008 college football season is finally here. What a night we have in store. A multitude of NFL preseason games, mixed in with some real live college football games, some of them are actually competitive. This should be an amazing season on campuses across the land.

I’ve been back and forth on some predictions for college ball. A few teams have gained some steam, as far as the pundits are concerned. LSU, Auburn, and Michigan State, are quickly becoming dark horse faves for douchebag analysts everywhere. Michigan State, will always be Michigan State. They will be better, but will still find a way to lose at least two games they should have won, and another two games they were supposed to lose. LSU and Auburn will have strong years, but will both be second fiddle SEC teams.

Out west, the big story is with the USC cock wrappers. One thing stands out for me when it comes to this team. Not the “amazing” defense, not dirty sanchez’s knee. The Jock itch. USC has a tough defense, and Sanchez will be o.k., but a case of agressive jock itch, has been waging war on the men of troy all year long. The Jock itch will have the players going full go. Word has it, that it gets pretty itchy when you stop moving. when it all comes down to it, worrying about scratching their balls is what’s gonna cost this team in crunch time, against OSU. I do expect the Jock itch outbreak to be a major recruiting tool for USC. Most colleges bost, tradition, Alumni in the NFL, comradarie, or a strong business school. Few teams can offer rampant crotch fungus, and this will give USC the edge in recruiting battles from here on out.

Stealing the thunder from NCAA football, is the Democratic National Convention. Not to be confused with the Democratic, regional convention, in Gary Indiana. I dream of a land, where things like this are not on our t.v. sets at night. Only psychopathic losers watch programming such as this. Does anyone actually watch either perties convention? If you do, you should really reconsider your life, and look into getting a vascectomy. Do us all a favor on that one. Speaking of things that make me want to snap. Chain e-mails. We’ve all had the email that promised all our dreams to come true, or our weiner grows four inches, or we’ll have good fortune, if we forward it to 10 people. We’ve all also forwarded at least one of those, thinking long and hard about who the ten people least likely to kill us are. Now there is one thing that may be worse than the chain email. The Blog tag. Apparently, you “tag” someone via a blog, as a way for people to check out other peoples blogs. This one was sent to me, via my friend jeremy in ecuador, who is continuing his search for the crystal skulls/serving as international talent scout for girls gone wild. Here’s how the rules on this one work. This is what I have to do, to get my weiner to grow four inches.

* link to the person who tagged me - jeremy at http://www.travelblog.org/Bloggers/scienceking/ 
* post the rules on the blog – the rules are here with my blog
* write six random things about myself, and then tag some other bloggers.

so here we go

1. I prefer to pee sitting down when possible. It’s way easier when you’ve been drinking, and is quite nice.

2. I like to pee a little, then flush the toilet, and try and race the draining water with my pee. Being in a sitting position forces you to go off sound alone in this race, and makes it that much more fun.

3. I once crapped myself a little while doing this at work. this was before I started mixing in the whole peeing sitting down thing. It was on a friday morning, after I had been drinking. Can anyone say 3 day weekend?

4. I’ve always wanted to hunt a man for sport.

5. I get freaked out by E.T. I can’t be in a room where that movie is playing, or hear the music, and especially not his E.T. voice. Those long fingers and wrinkly neck scare the shit out of me. Steven Spielberg is a dick.

6. I once pee’d the bed after a party, and covered it with a towel, and then slept on the couch. My wife later asked me why there was a wet towel on the bed. I told her I had spilled cold water on myself, and then was wide awake, so I went to the couch, and didn’t want to wake her. I even remember doing it. I had a dream I had to piss real bad, and finally found a place to go (standing up), and then woke up about two thirds the way in. It did feel good though. Laying down pee may be better than sitting down pee.

I’m gonna tag Hannah, she may have some dirty laundry to air out like I did. http://www.runningdownlife.blogspot.com/

I’ll also tag a Tim Tebow blog, since I will never get the chance to bag-tag that dude, I’ll blog tag him instead. http://www.tebowzone.com/ and just for fun, lets tag the NAMBLA website, while we’re at it. Many of you will love this one, and hopefully some google searches will tie in Tim Tebow, and NAMBLA. http://www.nambla.org/  and a scientologists blog, just cause I want to see people fuck with this dude. http://myscientology.blogspot.com/ 

good luck to all, and go easy on the folks at nambla