Big Ten Preview

So i thought I’d give the old prediction thing a little shot in the pants. Here is my composite list of how the Big Ten teams will all fare this coming season. If you’re like me, and don’t get the Big Ten Network, only a few games are gonna stand out. Like all years though, it’s those crucial mid-season games nobody watches that will decide who plays in the alamo bowl, and who plays directional michigan in the GMAC Bowl. So here it goes, in no particular order, except semi-alphabetically.

Illinois – A lot of people are picking Illinois to finish near the top in the standings. Since the Big Ten sucks, thats like a bronze at the special olympics, and should only be a goal if Ron Zook is your coach, which he is. Last season, Missouri owned Illinois in Champaign. A few late scores made it seem close, but I expect the same result of the fighting whatever they’re called now. A few crowd pleasing wins over the bottom feeders of the league will make everyone happy, but most of the Big names in the laeague get illinois at home. Again, the defining moment of their season should be a home game against the buckeyes. Will we see the Juice williams of OSU games past, or the Juice wiliams of every other game he’s played in? Will the OSU defense actually be able to tackle? Will losing their best player on offense, and defense be a setback for Illinois? My guess, is Tressel, and his boys won’t be looking past the illini, at the wolverines, a third straight year. Depending on how PSU, and UM go at them early on, this could be a 2-3 start for zookers hookers.  CT’s pick: 8-4, have fun in san antonio boys.

Indiana – This team still sucks. Unless Isiah Thomas is coming back to kick field goals, and slap cheerleaders, this could be a boring year for the hoosiers. They do have a cake walk schedule, which could help pile on some wins. Going by my, no BCS school should ever lose to a mid-major rule, they should scrounge up some wins. Their toughest game will be a trouncing at home to wisconsin. The final home game against Purdue should determine whether they finish 6-6 or 7-5. Since everyone who wins 6 games goes to a bowl now, it won’t really matter unless your name is randle el, or you are a fan of really big drums.

Iowa – Who really cares. Ever since they robbed the raiders first rd. pick with that Kyle Turley wanna be Left Tackle, who now is the back-up punter in Oakland. Iowa has been a dissapointment, even though there coach keeps getting mentioned for NFL jobs. Off season sexual assault charges may not help the hawkeyes. A few preseason games should pad a few wins on though, but it’s going to be tough sailing for a team with few proven weapons. CT’s Pick: 4-8 ouch, better hope thew corn crops good this year.

This year is gonna be about a lot more than total wins for the wolverines. They have a long streak of winning season’s and Dick Rod dosn’t want to see it end in year one. The biggest thing for them is to play as many young guys as possible, this will decide how quickly they get back to the top of the heap. Depending on how quickly this team picks up the run-spread offense, Red Wings season may have to come early. The press has been tough on these guys, but if they can pull a win out against the irish, this team should still finish with as many as nine wins. Ct’s pick: a surprising 9-3

Michigan State: The addition of Mark Dantonio, seemed to do away with that defining moment of collapsing, the spartans provided football fans with in years past. They lost a stud running back, and receiver, but return the league yards per carry leader. A QB that at times was solid, and at times a flaming bag of dog shit, mixed with a defense that lacks consistency, leaves this team as an anomally. I’ve seen them picked as high as second in the league. Until they can prove they can win the tough games, they’re still a basketball school, with a football problem. The opener at Cal, should be the indiaction as to how they’re gonna step to the line, the rest of the year. CT’s Pick: 7-5

Minnesota. I feel like I should punch myself in the groin for even wasting time on this team. Unless they can talk adrien peterson into wearing a tinted visor and pretending he’s a walk-on, this is going to be a long year for the gophers. They may win a league game, but I can’t tell you who that would be against just yet. The problem, is they may also lose a pre-season game.  Picking this teams wins is like bobbing for turds. I see no reason this college should still exsist.  CT’s Pick: 3-9

Northwestern. Despite being on a dry campus, they have a football team. They play in a really big High School stadium, with ushers who like to steal captain morgan bottles from OSU fans. If there offense can get it together, they can score some points. Defensively, they have two asian players who find themselves on the two-deep. Which, is a lot like a bride having two fat chicks in the wedding party. It weighs down the whole team, and makes everyone wish they had just went to the bars instead of the reception. In the end, someone always hooks up with the wilder of the two fatties, and that’s gonna be the case here. Depending how the season opener against syracuse goes, this team could still rack up some points, and some wins. CT’s pick: 8-4?????

THE Ohio State University: The class of the league. After two scrimmages against the J.V. teams, they get as big of a test as any. A road night game against the men of Troy, USC. This game means everything. The winner should be a clear cut favorite to find themselves in the BCS final game. Tressel and his boys have a lot to prove here, with 9 starters back on each side of the ball, and flashy terrell Pryor looking to mix things up a bit. Going into the season last year, Lawrence Wilson was the top DE. After a broken leg in the opoener, he isn’t even considered as a returning starter. Even with a good showing and a loss in Cali, they still have a chance, but need some help around the nation. I don’t see too many people voting them over 1 loss teams from the SEC. Uncertainty In Ann Arbor, and New QB’s on strong wisconsin, and PSU teams bodes well for Buckeye nation. Outside of going to the west coast to take on the condoms, the schedule is set up for Buckeye Glory. Plus, I met the recievers coach, and he assured me of greatness. A win at USC, and the bucks are a beer truck running downhill to Miami. CT’s Pick: Running the table! 13-0.  Post championship snacks and punch at my house!

Penn State: A week Big Ten, could justify keeping Joe Paterno plugged in to the life support. Key Matchups against Michigan, Wisconsin, and Illinois could be the difference between replacing Paterno with a 3 year coach, and an outback bowl. How the new QB performs in the clutch is everything to this team, as they’re gonna get the wins off the bottom feeders. I see losses in at least 2 of 3 against wisconsin, Illinois, and Michigan. A Preseason home game with Oregon State, should be the deciding factor. CT’s Pick: 8-4 Just don’t see it any other way.

Purdue. Preseason games against Oregon, and at Notre Dame, are going to be the key for this team to make it to .500. i don’t see it happening. Though they may score some points with the spread, and have a few guys drafted on D, this is not s strong team. Unless bob Sanders has some eligibillity left, they’re gonna give up more than they put up, more times than not. Unless they pull off at least one of the preseason upsets, and one or two league upset’s, they are gonna be some where above minnesota and Iowa. An emotional last home game for Joe Tiller against the hoosiers, will be the deciding factor. CT’s Pick: 5-7

Wisconsin. The Badgers have a lot to offer, and a lot of unkowns. Again, a down league should really pad on the wins, and I have them as my 2nd place team. A week preseason schedule, and all the tough league games other than Michigan at home, means the paint thinner will be flowing in Madison this year. They finish the year against Cal Poly, and fortunately for them it’s not in baseball. A new QB is never a good thing, but the support pieces are their. Depending on how many skill position players beat up their girlfriends, they could be headed to the rose bowl, against a rather pissed off USC squad. This game could be another sour finish in Pasadena for the Big Ten. Fortunately for all, the Buckeyes will take full advantage of a re-match with the gators. James Laurianitis will force Tim Tebow to drink someone else’s pee, and the Big Ten will finish on a high note. CT’s Pick: 11-1

All in all. it’s a mixed year for the Big Ten. A lot of week teams, and a couple of couple of the regular powerhouse’s at the top. The key will be for UM to adapt to Dick Rod’s scheme as quickly as possible. The faster they get back on top, the better for the whole league. Penn State, and Purdue, are really letting folks down. With Coaching changes on the horizon, they need to spend big money on a big name coach, and add some parody to the league. Instead they’re ushering in guys picked by the current staff, and that’s a shame. The SEC is the dominant confrence, not because of speed, or depth. All Big programs have guys who run 4.3-4.5 at the skill position, and send several guys on both sides into the NFL each year. The difference isn’t talent, the differences are soo slim athletically across the country, and can easilly be accounted for by brains, confidence, and a good scheme. The real difference is the Coaching. No matter how much I knock Dick Rod, Michigan was wise to bring him in, and the league will be better for it. The SEC has four coaches that have won National title’s, and Tommy Tuberville who led a a BCS school to an undefeated year. Outside of Vanderbilt, and kentucky, each school has a well respected coach, and they all pull in at least 1.5 mills. Don’t expect anything to change, unless the guys who run the programs start to change. Continued success for Brett bilemma, and Ron Zook are what this league needs, and a little help from Iowa, Penn State, and Purdue. The good news is, we can drink those southern dandies under the table any day. And we have indoor plumbing, so I’m calling it a wash.