Chris sights a celebrity

So yes, I have been in the presence of greatness. Yesterday, on my way back from another trip to the queen city, I saw and shared oxygen with, possibly, the biggest star on earth, not named Jay Bruce. I pulled into a Speedway station along I-70, to purchase something to drink. When I pulled in, I noticed a car with strange plates. Idaho plates, that said something along the lines of OXYIS4U or something. I figured it was an Oxycontin dealer. Then, I noticed the sides of the Vehicle were painted up with logo’s of various products such as, Oxy-Clean, Kazoom, and Orange-Glo. When I went towards the Gatorade cooler, I noticed him. The dude from the the Oxy-clean infomercials, in all his glory. He looks as radiant in real life as he does on t.v. Someone told me his name is Billy Mays, but I refuse to trust anyone who knows his name from memory. He must have been on his way to do a presentation at a mall or something, or maybe be knighted by congress. I never mustered the courage to talk to him, though I did consider going over to the hot dog spinner and smearing mustard all over my shirt, and proclaim ” Oh no! I’ll never get this out!”

So the memorial tournament is here again. I myself have never gone, even though I plan on it every year. I’ve been all around the neighborhoods along the course, but never actually there. The thing that bothers me is, all the douche’s that go to the tourney. Now, not everyone pisses me off. Just the people who make me sit in traffic, while I drive around for work. What’s with all the cars for of queer dude’s all dressed up in full golf atire. At my old office, they used to run parking shuttles out of our lot. Groups of dudes would all show up in full golf gear, shoes in all. I never figured this out. I can see wearing jerseys to games, that means you are a party animal, or a fan of that particular team or player. The golf gear is a different matter. Do these guys wear Jock-straps, cups, and random baseball or football uniforms to those games, pants and all? Do they wear tanks and long shorts to NBA games? Then why do they dress like this for golf. Do they really need the matching Nike pants and shirt, with a visor? Nothing says “I’m Gay” like wearing matching golf outfits with a bunch of other guys, when you’re not actually golfing. I might actually start wearing full football uniforms to tailgate buckeye games. That would just make me look like a Raider fan, so maybe not.