April 15, 2008
Well the first fishing outing of the year ended much like the last one of ‘07. Lots of beers drank, a few lures donated to the god of the pond, and zero fish caught. Oh well. The weather sucked, and the expectations were low, the important thing is getting out and trying. Staring at the wind rippled surface of a murky pond, who’s water level was near max. due to recent rains, I felt kinda like the Royals must feel every spring. Pretty well fucked. The good news is, the beer stayed cold, and delicious.
I saw my first episode of Saturday Night Live in about two years. Overall, it was as I thought it would be, shitty. However. There was one skit that may be an all-time top 10. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLbJuq1EPUE Ashton Kutcher as a strip club MC helping a paralized stripper do her routine. Since she was paralized from the waist down, he did all the work. the best part was the look on the guys in the crowds faces. Complete dismay, except for the one dude who was in to that. This was an “everyman” episode. Anybody who’s ever been to a strip club with less than stellar talent, can relate to this. That ‘not quite sure if you want to laugh or cry at the dancer on stage’ look. You kind of wonder if you’re supposed to have fun, or just walk away. Anyone who’s ever been to a strip club along route 30 knows this dillema. The ‘Wild Cherry’ in Indianapollis stands out to me. This shithole is located between the Indy motor speedway, and a trailer park. Most of the employees sell hot dogs during time trials, and then dance for nickles at night. I’m pretty certain I saw a pregnant chick stripping there. Is there anything more awkward than telling a 52 year old pregnant stripper with emphasyma to leave you alone? Of course not, that’s hillarious. Anybody who has never been to one of these joints needs to go right away. Don’t worry about the other patrons, they’re usually passed out truckers, or a dancers kids. Look for one with a gravel parking lot, or a pager store next door. Instead of the Pink or Purple neon, they’ll have a Miller High Life light up sign, that does not fully operate. You may fear your life, but you’ll laugh your ass off for weeks on end. Plus there is usually a cheap cover, and the beer is still gonna be delicious. This Buds for you shady strip clubs. I’m sure i’ve left out some other fine establishments, so let me know if there is some others I need to check out, to cheer me up on a rainy day.
April 16, 2008 at 1:50 am
Reminds me of fantasyland in Tiffin, OH. Stone’s throw away from our dorm and the first place we took my Korean roomate Tae Ho to get a taste of Americana. He thought American women were beautiful, but that was just after seeing some overweight 40 something give him a lap dance. The SNL skit could not simulate the smell of crystal meth and cigarette smoke in the air.
April 16, 2008 at 2:13 am
One more reason why Fox Sports Net should be called Sux sports net. I turned on channel 42 tonight to watch the reds take on the cubbies like the info said and instead i got some special on some wwii vet with one leg who threw 5 innings for the senators in 1945. Did anyone else watch this crap? Time Warner has lied to me and now i am angry. I just thought it was another inspirational special to stick it to jackie robinson. And sure enough, i turn it to channel 25 and the native americans are on, what a bunch of crap, this city needs to pick up and move to shithole cleveland.
April 16, 2008 at 3:06 am
Hey guy, what’s wrong with Cleveland? We’ve got great coke up here. Where exactly is this Fantasyland Tiffin you speak of, I’m intrigued by the 40 year old stripper and the crystal meth thing?
April 16, 2008 at 6:14 pm
who’s talking shit about cleveland??
April 16, 2008 at 6:56 pm
Cleveland sucks. I was robbed there last summer and will never go back
I have been to my share of shady strip clubs. The worst one I can remember is fantasy land II in mansfield. I had a fat chick ask me “what I was afraid of?” I responded by saying you are what im afraid of. Oh good times
April 17, 2008 at 12:34 am
Now the cable company is just screwing with me, I turn on FSN and sure enough, the Native Americans are on, i turn on the secondary channel and who’s on, the clevageland f***ing Cavs, like they’re any good, second night in a row i gotta listen to the reds get beat by the cubbies through marty and jeff brantley, which is a pretty good alternative. Cleveland sucks.
Drew Carey and Joey Belle, you know where i live.
April 17, 2008 at 2:25 am
Reds fan, add me to the list of celebrity superstars that think you are a whiny little titty baby.
Whaa, whaa…..the Reds aren’t on! Whaa, whaa…..Time Warner is fucking with me! Whaa, whaa……I want to suck Johnny Bench’s cock while Dave Parker fists me and Davey Concepcion plays the mariachi guitar naked!
April 17, 2008 at 2:52 am
Venezuelan’s don’t play mariachi guitars lebron. Put down your powerade and pick up an encyclapedia. Stop shooting threes while you’re at it.
April 17, 2008 at 3:16 pm
The games have been on channel 56 in lima. Hope that helps. Lebron cleveland still sucks hope you get beat by washington in the playoffs. By the way how did your Indians do last night? Oh thats right C.C got rocked ha ha.