Runaway groom?
April 3, 2008
This may be jumping the gun a little, but we may have an emergency on our hands. As many already know, one of my best friends, whom I’ve known most of my life, is supposed to be getting married this weekend. I will not be able to make it to the wedding, since we have a newborn at home, and that would be a shitty thing to do. Strangely enough, this friend who will go unmentioned, has now fallen out of contact with the rest of the world as I know it. To avoid invading anyones privacy, I won’t mention his name, we’ll just call him Travis L. No wait, that’s way too obvious. We’ll call him T. Larimore. Anywho, this is the guy who introduced me to my wife, and mother of my spawn. I wanted to call him and let him know, that it’s official, I wont make the festivities in tampa Florida. Home of the infamous “hot tub shitting”. So I call him to wish him luck, and provide that priceless marital advice I’ve been known for, and low and behold, his phone is disconnected. This can only mean one of two things. Travis has either been kidnapped by the god damned Swedes, or has skipped town with a case of cold feet. Any info on the whereabouts of Travis L, would be greatly appreciated. If he did skip town, one can only guess he’s hiding in northern Indiana with the great, ‘crazy Wanny’, surely smoking cigarettes and drinking natty lights, while driving a boat. Please foward this message on to anyone you know, I need to find out whether or not I still need to send a gift. I got a kid to feed.
Good thing the Reds traded Josh Hamilton. He only hit a game winning 2 run homer in extra innings last night. He currently has more hits than the entire reds outfield combined. Thank god that dude’s gone, now Corey patterson can play every game. Maybe the Reds can even the score, and trade Adam Dunn, and Edwin Encarnaciofortheseason to the rangers in exchange for hamilton, and an eight-ball of coke. Maybe thats where travis is, making sure Josh Hamilton stays on the straight and narrow. He could have also gotten a new cell phone, but that’s what the Swedes want us to think.
Well timed post, Encarnacion makes up for another costly error by hitting a walk-off three run homer. Way to go on that, but here is his stat line for the season:
2 games- 1 homer, 3 rbi’s, 6 at bats, 3 strikeouts and 2 costly errors. I’m gonna ignore those two missed bunts before the walk-off but the jury’s still out on this guy, if he has 7 errors by the end of the week i still say cut his ass.
RETRACTION: I officially take back the negative comments about Edwin Encarnacion. What a great call by our new manager, trying to get a guy with ZERO Sac bunts ever, to bunt, while down two. Adam Dunn is still a turd.
Josh who? The new first baseman is hotter.
Is he in that movie “Win a Date with Josh Hamilton” with Foreman from “That 70’s Show”?
maybe Travis is in the hospital after getting punched by Chris Henry
instead of getting him a gift…… Drink a beer and hope of the best!!!!!
Let’s put it to a vote, all in favor of Chris and Sarah legally changing Dylan’s name to Johnny after Johnny Cueto’s awesome major league debut say Aye.
(Note: In case Johnny Cueto blows his arm out and flops like the last rookie pitcher Dusty Baker had in Chicago, he can also be named after hall of famer Johnny Bench, Jackass star Johnny Knoxville, former NFL QB Johnny Unitas and country star Johnny Cash and Tonight Show legend Johnny Carson; not after that fag heroin addict Johnny Depp.
I think I can safely answer for the proud parents and say DENIED. Way to go Bucks you have broken what could have ended up being the next great curse conspiracy. also congrats to the gal from Ohio State that kept our gret tradition and ended up second in the womans 3 point competition. Back to the curse thing since the NIT is thought of as a second rate tournament would it not be true that once again we have won second place? Just a question.