N.I.T.

Yeah, the bucks are in the NIT, but they won big. Taking down UNC Asheville and their      7′ 7″ center Kenny George. It’s exciting to see the bucks still playing, and racking up a few more wins. Jamar Butler recorded his 100th win as a Buckeye, so congrats to the pride of shawnee. Rumor has it he is going to celebrate the win with some of his High school pals, they’re all gonna go to godfathers Pizza and get beat up. It’s a special night for me as i got to watch the Buckeyes win, I’m watching the Blue Jackets win in HD, and I got to go to the Lizard for wing night. My wife even went, she’s drinking for two.

Does everyone have their brackets filled out? If not here’s some tips, sure to go wrong. For some reason a week ago, no analysts were picking kansas, now everyone is. This pisses me off sice I’ve picked them all year long, and am starting to wonder if I need to switch. Picking #1 seeds is your best bet. Everyone likes to remember the upsets, but they are more common in the middle ranked seeds, and usually are off-set in the next round. Your best bet is to pick 3, 1’s and a 2 seed to make the final four. Picking the winner is the Key. Do this first, and build your bracket around it. if you are trying to decide the winner from 2 or 4 teams, thanks for your cash. If your winner is in the final game, you’ll still be in the money most likely, going into the final game. As for the Dark-horses, be careful. Everyone wants to take Clemson, and Pitt, as teams to keep an eye on. Nope. neither team translates to tourney play. pitt is too physical, and in the tourney will be in foul trouble early. Another popular team is USC, I’m going with Honey (bill walker) and the Beaze and KSU taking them out in round 1. The real team to watch is Wisconsin. I’ll drop my Badger bashing for a few weeks, cause they can D up the perimeter, and bang around down low on defense, which will keep them in every game.  All in all, if you have Kansas, UCLA, UNC or Texas winning it all, you’ve got a shot, but hey, what the hell do I know.

Since everyone seems to love my profiling skills so much. I thought I’d post a segment from my upcoming book ‘Are you a Douche-bag, and where’s my beer?’ Usually I resort to profiling people by sex, race, religion, nationality, and where you live, but lately I’ve decided to chronicle the multiple types of Douche-bag, to better serve mankind. this is a segment from chapter 4 titled ‘Sell-outs’

One true sign that you may be a douche, is if you refer to people or things as sell-outs, on a daily basis. We all know the type, more often then not wearing square rimmed glasses, faux thrift store jeans, and a Ramones, or Che Guevera t-shirt. this guy wants to fit in sooo bad, but tries with all his or her might to avoiding “conforming”. Even though that’s what they do their whole life. They love to listen to small, un-signed bands, or bands that are just getting their first break. When one of these bands gains main stream popularity, they feel betrayed. They will say things like I was a fan of ‘The Killers’ before they sold-out” Even though all bands with any chance at fame, are doing it for just that, they still don’t understand why they stopped playing at the progressive cafe down the street, and moved to L.A. As a Douche-bag, it’s crazy important to like things before everyone else does, and then stop liking things once it’s popular. It’s not just bands either. Politicians, actors, and even farm animals can all fall victim to “selling-out” in these people eyes. There is a fine line however. Athletes from a certain state, who go to college somewhere else, or athletes who demand a trade, can be sell-outs without making you a douche-bag for thinking so, so be careful. Next time you here somebody say “I liked UFC before it sold out” fear not, you’ve got a douche-bag on your hands.

and finally chapter 3, Beer snob Douche bag.

He’ll be at most bars, usually drinking Becks, Labatt, Molson, or Fosters. Sometimes it’s another beer, but these are the most commonly drank by beer snob douche. He’s the guy, who makes comments about the others drinking Bud Light, Coors Light, or Miller Light. He’ll make comments about ‘drinking water’ or ‘piss’ while trying to show off to the skanky bartender. What he doesn’t know is that even though your “american” beer, has 1/10th of a percent of alcohol less than his beer, you’ll drink like 12 and he’ll have 2, while making bitter beer face after every sip. One way to fight this guy off is to put in a dip, and chug a Guinness, another is to kick him in the balls. You can also take comfort in knowing you miller lite is delivered twice a week, his Olde style or Blatz has been sitting there since barbaro was running strong. Why is it that people think they are cool for drinking beers just as shitty as yours? Nobody knows. Drink whatever beer you want. If most nights you drink an import heffe weissen, but tonight you feel like a bud light, good for you. Don’t let somebody in corduroy blazer tell you different. Go ahead and order a coors light or a PBR, and remember, all the canadian beers in the world can’t save some people from being a douche-bag.

Jackets win! It took 59 minutes but the fight finally came. Jason Chimera, and Jared Bolle are bad asses. Suck my balls calgary.