Welcome aboard

Just in time for the Confrence tourney’s I’m writing shit on a new site. Apparently I’ll be able to post more pics, and get more google hits here, so I can finally track down that elusive Bengals/Indians fan, and get him that much needed case of PBR. This could prove to be more difficult now, since my local carry-out stopped selling cases of PBR bottles. I’d like to know what the price of a 12 pk PBR bottles runs in the greater Milwaukee area. I’m trying to figure whether or not I’m being ripped off. Also this blog has spell check, so fuck off. I’ve also learned this particular blog host gets a lot of hits from Canadian strippers, so we’re broadening our horizon’s.

My intelligence has told me the Wisconsin kewpee has been visited by a Lima native, and it passed with flying colors. If it makes anyone feel better, the burger wrapper’s are printed in Lima OH. Details on this breakthrough will follow.

Hope everyone has plenty-o-excuses to get out of work this week, as one of the greatest sports weeks is upon us. NCAA Confrence tourney week. If you were off this afternoon you would have got to see Syracuse shit down their leg. As we speak Marquette is going at it with Seton Hall, odds are a fight is gonna break out in this one, as these teams do not like each-other, with the star guards on each team flat out hating one another. ESPN.com’s poll showed 60% of fans are most excited about the ACC tourney. This matches my poll that 60% of fans are Jack-asses. UNC has that one flat out, beating either Duke, or Miami. The Big East, and Big 12 are the matches to watch. Of course theirs the big Ten which essentially the only thing of any meaning is whether or not Jamar Butler can play well enough for the Buckeyes to sneak in the big dance. More on this later.

Today while driving down the road, and refilling Gatorade bottles, my local sports radio, switched it up a bit. They were reading some magazine’s list of the best comdeies of all time. The list was complete crap, so It’s time to make our own list. Now I’ll do my top 5, plus a few on the outside looking in, and the top comedies in specific categories, everyone else can chime in as well. So here it is, CT’s best comdeies of all time. Feel free to let me know what I may have missed.

Best Eddie Murphy Movie – Coming to America, also a top 10

Best Sports Comedy – Major League, without “Harry Doyle”, it was still a top 5, this character, and the Japanes guy saying the indians are “still shitty” put’s it over the top.

Best Golf Comedy – Happy Gilmore. Bar-none. I know everyone wants to say “wait, what about Caddyshack?” I know. I know. Let me just say this. Caddyshack has nothing on Happy Gilmore. I like Caddyshack, but it could be the most over-rated comedy of all time. For some reason, people feel obligated to give this movie more credit than it deserve’s. I’m not saying it’s not funny, I watch it when it’s on, and may even own it. It’s like the Beatle’s. Everyone feels like they are supposed to love the beatles, and can’t say anything bad about the beatle, even though they clearly suck balls, and had only 2 or 3 decent songs. Caddyshack is funny, but can’t hold a candle to Carl Weathers fake hand, or Bad-assed Bob Barker.

Best “spoof” comedy – Airplane, also a top 10, it was the original spoof, and other than lack of boobies it was perfect, and may be one of the most quoted movies ever.

Here are the finalist’s outside of the top 5 but still within consideration for best comedy ever.

Tommy Boy, Wedding Crasher’s, Anchor Man, Beverly Hills Cop, Super Troopers, Pee Wee’s Big Adventure, Airplane, Naked Gun, Planes Trains and Automobiles, Groundhog Day, The Jerk, Beerfest, Vacation, Borat, 40 yr. old virgin, Dazed and Confused, Fasttimes at Ridgemont High, Team America World Police, Blacksheep, Ace Ventura, The gift, Brewster’s Millions and maybe a few others.  Without further delay, here are the top 6 best comedies.

6. Blazing Saddles. So good, this movie could not possibly be made in this day and age. Also the winner in the category of best Mel brooke’s movie, and to think, Richard Pryor was originally slated to be the lead role.

5. Old School. This movie had everything, comedy, drama, love, death, suspense, and topless k-y wrestling, not to mention the fact that it’s the most quoted movie since airplane. Nobody watched this movie, and didn’t want to hang out with those guys.

4. Christmas Vacation. Despite having less nudity and profanity than the original, this edition of the Vacation Series blew everyone away. After a lackluster European vacation, the series was thought to be dead, and with the PG-13 rating, and another cast switch-up, it all looked lost. Chevy played his best role ever, and yes my friends…”shitter’s full”

3. Animal House. The original goof-ball comedy for young adults, the bar was set with this flick. You had boobies, booze, and Donald Sutherland’s ass, what more is there? Every gay-assed fraternity since then has tried to copy the Delta house antics, including the Toga party, with no success. Don’t mess with the best my friends.

2. Coming to America. Pure Genius. Proving once again, that when nudity and profanity are involved, Eddie Murphy was the best. Take these two away, and his films go to shit. The barber-shop scene’s alone, where he plays most of the character’s clinch his title as best acter of all time. Throw in the Royal Ball washer’s, a McDonalds Knock-off in Queens, and Soul-Glow, you have movie magic my friends.

1. Billy Madison. Never again will a greater film be made. Vagina Hat Lewis, can only dream of playing this role. Adam Sandler’s role as the title charactor was without flaw. Even without nudity, he still found perfection. Not one scene went by, without a stealabe quote. Everytime I see one of my neighbors going to the mailbox, I say “nudie magazine day!” Not to mention all the other great scenes and great lines in this one. The final 30 minutes of #5 Old School, where they do the College Olympics is a knock-off of Billy Madison’s Apex Scene.

Fin