Chris goes to the hospital…

The title is a little decieving. Sarah and chris went to the hospital. No, no babies came out, no injuries were suffered, tonight we did the expecting parents tour of Riverside hospital!!!! It’s kinda disspointing, I know. I didn’t nail any body parts together, didn’t suffer any wounds in, or around my ass, didn’t even have to have anything inserted into my pee hole. No, tonight was all about preparation. We saw where to check in, where babies come out (not sarah’s vajayjay), and where I will sleep. Strangely enough what stuck out most for me was the bathroom in the delivery room. Anyone who’s ever spent 3 or more consecutive hours with me knows the joy’s of my GI tract. I had visions of me dropping a load in the middle of the birth, only to clear the room, and have to deliver the baby myself. Note to self: pack catchers mit in hospital bag. All in all, I think we saw all we needed to see, but I’m sure in the excitement of the big day, I’ll forget everything. Vegas is putting the odds of me leaving sarah at home on my way to the hospital, at 3 to 1. Speaking of gambling. Who’s in for a little 50/50 on guessing the birthdate? 50 percent going to babies college fund/future bail money.Something has been bothering me for quite some time, and it was almost solved, but no concrete proof was ever given. The past several month’s I have been on the search for the most elusive of creatures. The Bengals/Indians fan. Everybody knows plenty of Reds/Bengals fans, or Indians/Browns fans, and even a few Reds/Browns fans. But has anyone ever found some bastard so fucked in the head that they would be a Bengals/indians fan? They have to exist. I need to believe it. If anyone can help, please step forward. I’m not looking for some dumbass who roots for ALL Ohio teams, or some fag who just wants everyone to have fun, and play fair. No I want some diehard, who has spent the bulk of their life wallowing in shit, from rooting for two of the most downtrodden teams in their respective sports. Previously I offered a prize of 1 case of delicious Pabst Blue Ribbon beer to whomever finds this strange beast. I’m ready to up the anti. My brother will throw in a hand job, and I will add an OSU 2005 Womens Big Ten Basketball champion hat. It’s a one time prize, first come first serve, and we’ll go by fishing rules. You can either bring the creature to me, or do catch and release, just send proof, consisting of the following: a picture, full bio, weight, and height (ideally they would be layed out on top of a beer cooler with a tape measurer). Let the hunting begin. What kind of poor bastard would do this to themself? They could really use that hand job I imagine. I’d like to have a beer with a person that roots for the indians and the bengals. Oh the stories they could tell. I’m gonna use my FBI profiling trianing to describe what I imagine this person to be. 32 years old, moved back home. Semi popular in High School, only to take a nose dive in college, after being discovered to be a chronic masturbator. Works at a Video store, but secretly loves netflix. Collects vintage tophats, and has teamed up with several 12 year old Krean boys to rule World of Warcraft. this should help everyone in the hunt.

Posted on Wednesday, January 16, 2008 at 11:10PM

Take your pick

Before we get to the meat and potato’s. Let’s start a new weekly tradition. A tradition that will inspire deep intellect, soul searching, and a society wide revolution. A tradition I’m sure will inspire many a great conversations in the comments section, and inspire social change. What shall we call this tradition. How ’bout, “Who Would You Rather Bang?”This week the contestants are two of my personal faves, and are sure to make some tough choices for some of you out there. We can even make a bracket format, and have winner take all, or likely take none. So without further delay, here they be.Ms. Garret from ‘the Facts Of Life’ vs. the queer kid from ‘Who’s the Boss?’

Ms. garret has plenty of enduring qualities, cooking, good one liners, and has no problem raising a yuppie, a black chic, a  butch lesbian, and a fat chick, at the same time. Not to mention she knows  Molly Ringwald (season one for all you facts of life posers). But it’s not about lifelong qualities. It’s about who you’d rather bang, one time only, fate of mankind is at hand. however if tudi were watching the banging this would surely sway ole chris. Now Johnathan from who’s the boss, has some strong arguments as well. Sweet hair, snappy comebacks, walked in on Allissa Milano in the tub (season’s 2 and 5) and sported the sweater vest way before Jim Tressel. Now I don’t swing that way, but if I did, he’d easilly crack my top 32. His grandma was O.K., and his Mom was 50/50, but she was no Carol Seaver, for sure. Plus I’m fairly certain he does anal. Plenty of good arguments for each challenger. However the fact that afterwords, she would bring me a nice mug of Cocoa, and read me a story, I’m gonna have to bang Ms. Garrett. What does the world have to say? Check the comments. Everyone must vote.

Our ole friend Dick Rod. is having the best week ever. The whole Enron thing has passed, now WVU is accusing him of making unauthorized calls to UM recruits from a WVU cell phone. I would say WVU needs to move on, but it’s hillarious. They honestly hate eachother. If there is a god, UM will play WVU in a bowl game every year. His hometown took down the sign that says “Home of Rich Rodriguez” as you roll into town on a coal car. He is officially the Ray Finkle of West Virginia. Laces out Bitch.

Further down the road to East Lansing. Yes, you beat the buckeyes. However, you have no center, and no chance at advancing come late march. The thing that stood out most to me was, Michigan State’s infatuation with the movie 300. I have no problem with 300. I own it, and watched it less than a week ago. I get that your mascot is a “spartan” but seriously, enough is enough. You aren’t real spartans. Nobody is. Moments before they take the court, the videotron plays the clip from the movie that goes, “Spartans! Prepare for Glory” and the crowd goes wild. Do you guys know that “preparing for glory” for the real spartans meant death? Or that they would strip nude and wash eachother, to prepare for the afterlife, as it is well documented that they did. So what you are saying is that you are all gay, and facing death. Why not just play a clip of Tom Hanks with AIDS in the movie ‘Philadelphia’ if you all want to be doomed fags? Or ’Heathers’ “I love my dead gay son” can really fire up a crowd. After made freethrows by the home team, the MSU student section calls out “AHHOOOOW”. This was the battle chant all greek soldiers cried out in response to the generals chants. It was derived from the dying words of the runner who announced the victory of the battle at Marathon. The persian soldiers “stole” this chant and used it in future battles to mock greek soldiers. The U.S. marines facing infinite doom, in the battle of tripolli, but saved by the antics of Steven Decatour, turned things around, thus turning the chant around on persian soldiers, in a chant still used today “WOOOHHA”! (sorry to get off subject, I did a book report on the spartans in 10th grade and have been saving it). Now I do have one last point. Did you fair MSU fans know that it was common practice, for the spartan generals, and officers, to sodomize the common soldiers (who responded AHHOOOOW), in front of the others to instill dominance and respect? So everytime you assclowns chant, AHHOOOOW you are inviting Tom Izzo, or a 6′7″ power forward to ram you in the ass. One of these guys is from Lima, so it will happen. Good luck the rest of the season, you sodomy craving douche bags. I hope this makes home games a little more gay.

P.S. Marsha Jackson gave me an A on the book report, sodomy included.

Posted on Thursday, January 17, 2008 at 09:47PM

The rare double entry

Like a hat trick, a no-hitter, or a white republican. The double entry is a rare find, so make a wish.Just want to give a shout out to my other blogging pals. keep in mind, their coolness pales in comparison to ctgobucks, but they can hold their own.

First off hannah. For whatever reason, hannah married my best friend tom. Maybe she likes wearing the pants, maybe she was looking for an in on some free kittens every june, either way she’s stuck with him. Hannah’s blog is likely the exact opposite of mine. She is highly motivated, nice, and active. Plus, at her wedding she was the 2nd most beautiful bride ever. Go Sarah! Hannah works at inatrode in Phoenix AZ, and is currently going back to school to be a mortician. her blog is. http://runningdownlife.blogspot.com/ feel free to check in. She does love comments so feel free to post. however, her parents, grandparents etc. will check it out so watch the language you dirty bastards. In Association to her, but not in any way to me is her friends, who are taking part in a race to take rowboats accross the ocean, here is the link http://rowformeningitis.com/ . These chics are crazy, but it is cool to follow the progress, and root for someone you’ll never meet. On a side note. Next year Tom and I will be taking part in the first ever trans-atlantic paddleboat race. No official sponsors yet, but hopefully, Joe, Trevor, Jeff, Brandon, and Hill can be in the chase vehicle with plenty of Natty lights, and Arby’s. My guess is we run out of booze, or capsize 400 yds in. Either way the lake thomas pink paddleboat is the one to beat.

Secondly, and thirdly, are two of the greatest people you’ll ever meet, and sarah and I’s best friends. Susan and jeremy, gave up a life of luxory, in beautiful Olde Towne East Columbus, for the U.S. Peace Corps Ecuador. They could really use your support, so feel free to blog them on, or send hate mail. jeremy was a High School Science teacher/track/cross-country/soccer coach, susan worked for the Ohio Environmental council, where she would yell at people for farting. Just kidding, we actually give the OEC money so I should try and maintain their rep. She took part in many great causes, including hosting, organizing, and aiding in several fundraising events such as Art shows (I helped serve booze), craft sales, and Comm fest (hippy chics get topless, and beer. get past arm hair and you’re in), not to mention taking part in many environmental causes. The Low saturday will be 5 degrees, so you won Sue. Jeremy is currently performing cattle abortions, and ridding central ecuador of Pubic Lice. his blog is http://www.travelblog.org/Bloggers/scienceking/ so stop on by. Susan is more in touch with the locals. She is working with the local tribes, the Waorani, passing out condoms, and preaching scientology. Her blog is http://ciao79.blogspot.com/ . Keep in mind, all these blogs, are by actual bloggers, so no discussions about who you’d rather bang, Sparky Anderson vs. Nell Carter, and the like. Good luck to all, and god speed.

Before we go, I have a video that sums up why the internet was created by al gore 7 years ago. http://www.break.com/index/monkey-needs-a-drink.html 

Someone learned how to copy and paste.

Posted on Thursday, January 17, 2008 at 11:49PM

Lesson learned

Let this be a lesson to everyone. When eating an 11:30 lunch, at an establishment known most for it’s vast selection of beers. The barbeque pork sandwich is a dangerous option. When the afore mentioned sandwhich comes on an onion roll, with more BBQ sauce than what the laws of physics could possibally allow…Tread lightly my friends. With a stomach that has been fighting against everything I can throw at it for 28 plus years, this dangerous sandwhich becomes a legitimate threat to all controlled bodilly functions. Throw in the fact that I had plenty of beers last night, that resulted in me having three cups of coffee before lunch, and a sobe no fear energy drink. A rare phenomenon was created. I call it the Colon Tornado. The Winking Lizzard Tavern is located less than a half mile from my house, as a crow flies. Since nobody had the decency to make a road directly from my favorite bar to my house, I had to navigate through traffic, the long way, including a school zone, and a railroad crossing. Needless to say I was riding high, as my ass cheeks were clinched tighter than a kid being baby sat by michael jackson. Of course today, there was a train…moving slowly…then stopping…then backing up….then moving again…slowly. I searched madly for anything that would aid my cause. Plastic bags were nowhere to be found, no shrubbery in sight, I even considered trying to pull off the amazing feat of busting a deuce in a gatorade bottle, only to remember that all the caffeine left me motivated earlier, and I had cleaned out my truck. Finally the train had passed, I was second in line, with my neighborhood in sight, I accelerate over the tacks, maybe a little too fast, bouncing my hips violently off the seat. And then….it happened. Despite my tightest prison clinch, a major security breach in sector brown. This was no mere shart, I had completely shit my pants. Somehow there was still more to come. With sweat rolling down my face, and god knows what behind me, I rush in through the still opening garage door, barely making it to the friendly confines of the spare bathroom. My torment was over, and I bagan doing a damage report as I looked down. My FTL Boxer briefs didn’t have a prayer, but luckily nothing had leaked through the outer layer, GAP makes one hell of a jean. So after bagging some clothes, showering, and doing a quick once over, I was back in business. Too bad for the dumpster behind my office though. Seriously, I’m getting too old to be crapping myself. Too old to be throwing away undergarments. I should be throwing them away because my ass got too fat, or they were just plain worn out. Oh well, I hold no ill will towards the winking lizzard tavern, or pulled pork sandwiches. It was half my fault, half that damned train. In fact tonight I got right back in the saddle, Fajitas and beer, with plenty-o-hot sauce. Tomorow, I will limit the pre-noon caffeine intake to one drink. Sorry to burden all of you with my “problems”. i just couldn’t think of a better way to inform my wife that her husband of 4 plus years had shit himself. Sarah, I need new underwear and pants please. Maybe someone will buy hersome really big diapers for her baby shower.

Posted on Friday, January 18, 2008 at 09:58PM

Big weekend

It’s saturday, we got a full slate of college hoops, I am re-energized for hockey after rick nash’s amazing goal in phoenix kicked off a big road trip for the jackets. And the AFC NFC games are only a day away. Also we are heading back to Lima, sarah’s family is throwing her a baby shower. I may even get to help my brother move. Since the high is in the mid twnties, this should be awesome. For those who don’t know, Lima is a hotbead of racial tension at the moment, on top of the fact that it already rocked, it should make things interesting indeed. Buckeyes have a big challenge today against Tennessee, who should be looking for revenge after the bucks shanked them twice last year. Tennesse should win, I think they are over-rated, but still better than OSU. Did anyone see Nash’s goal. It was fucking awesome. It was like a playstation goal, he pretty much fed shit to 3 coyote defenders. I encourage everyone to take a little more interest in hockey. HD Hockey is hard to top. Few people take advantage of betting on hockey. it’s some of the easiest money in sports gambling, and requires little knowledge of the teams or the sport. I can re-strat the sign that say’s “we have gone x- ammount of days without an accident”. Back at one, and looking to string together a few days of full bowel control. Since I likely won’t be posting again until monday, thought I’d leave yall with a little link to a monday themed video.http://www.break.com/index/432976-i-f-h-mondays.html

it’s fantastic

Posted on Saturday, January 19, 2008 at 12:57PM

Why even bother

Usually at the superbowl, I prepare a shitload of food, provide enough hooche to make an irishman blush, and plan this day weeks in advance. This year however, I’m going mormon. I’ve had enough. I never expected San Diego to have a chance, but they had several, and blew them all. Brett Favre, proved his middlename is ‘pussyfart’, and was an all around piece of shit. So we have the Pats vs the Jints. I hope to hell they have a Julia Roberts movie on in HD, So when I hang myself, I truly have no regrets. So much for Parody in the NFL. Eli vs. Brady makes me want to perform my own vascectomy. Anyone coming over for this years biggest game in football better like watching ‘Beerfest’ on DVD. Cause this game should be about as competitive as James Brooks vs the ACT test.In other news, I braved the 6 degree temp. to venture out at my parents house this weekend, and was able to track the culprit of the infamous, ’shed-break-in’ to the culprit, I originally suspected. As soon as the temp hit’s high enough for me to take out the golf cart, justice will be served. With me convincing my friend Joe to rape his mom. There was tracks leading right to his parents house.  This was a kid who was a 10 yr. old waterboy on the sidelines of an Elida High School football team that featured at least 2 sexual predators on the coaching staff, 1 in the band, and a homo superintedant. Your luck has run out my friend. Buenos dias shithead.

I also managed to make the trip into Lima worthwhile. On the way home, I took my flatuant hound home, and my wife and her friend Jackie stopped at the world famous Kewpee, and brought me a few. For those who Don’t know. Kewpee makes In-and-out burger look like shit in a wrapper. Even though your rental car smells the same after you get take-out, kewppee burger prevails. Kewpee was the original Wendy’s, except the original owner didn’t have the foresight of Dave thomas so he went out on his own, and that was that. and the chilli has skyrocketed from 99cents to a buck ten. Kewpee chilli can never be compared to wendy’s though. It’s just not fair. I don’t know if Kewpee chilli is full of date rape drugs, or has just been the same pot simmering for 80 plus years, but nothing tops it. Even though it meets neither, texas, cincinnati, or standard chilli measures, it’s what dreams are made of. The burgers….how can I count thy ways. My friend trevor and I used to load up on Kewpee drive-thru burgers at 6 a.m. and space them out over a 12 hour period. 1 broken tooth, and a case of crabs was the only ill-effect of eating non-refridgerated beef, every day for months on end. Anyone who has any beef with Ohio, will be singing ‘hang on sloopy’, after eating their 5th kewpee at 3 a.m. Kewpee has the same half-life of uranium 235, but tastes even better. The right ammount of grease, plus the geriatric serving it to you is a true art form. Somewhere, I have boner.

Thanks to all who bought us baby shit this weekend. I’m sure my spawn will more than make you regret doing just that. Here’s to catchers and pitchers reporting in a month, and finally making FoxSportsnet worth wathing again. the good news is, Paula Abdule is gonna premiere her new music video at the superbowl…who want’s me to tie an extra noose?

Posted on Sunday, January 20, 2008 at 11:58PM

Stay Classy Columbus

Since my profession dosn’t recognize any of the mid-winter holidays, today was just another monday for ole chris. Capped off by the fact that I got to sit, parked on southbound I-71 in the middle of nowhere, for 2 hours on my way home from the office, it was a magical day. Today it was a nice sunny 28 degree day, the roads were perfectly clear, as they have been for over a week. Yet somehow, some stupid mother fucker, decided today was going to be a great day to cause a multi-car wreck. So a little shout-out to the dumbass who ruined the day for a few hundred motorists. What was so hard about driving today, on a straight highway, in the flattest part of the state? Was it too sunny? Too boring? I drive all over the place every day, while on a cell phone, and often pissing into a gatorade bottle, and yet, I haven’t gotten to ride in the medi-vac helicopter. I’m sure the state troopers, and columbus police love hanging out in the cold, 3 hours after their shift ends, just so they can make sure your mangled 1988 olds. cutlass is finely decorated with road flares. Ever wonder why, when there is a police shooting, and maybe the cop shouldn’t have shot the baby, or pumped 9 rounds into the  hopped up kid swinging the baseball bat, that it’s because the night before, he stayed 5 hours long, missing the chance to have sex with his wife before the kids got home, freezing his ass off, because he had to push a little measuring wheel down the interstate, because you’re a fucking moron!Also to the ABC 6 news van. If you say on the news, “the highway is closed, and to avoid that area”, why the fuck did you send your news van? was the line of cars, just one van short? and to the assbag in front of me, who consulted his dashboard GPS system for over an hour straight. You fucked with that thing longer than a retarded kid, who rediscovered his weiner. What did it tell you to do? Go up? And to the various news choppers flying high above. Do you have to sit there, in the same spot the whole time? Can’t you do something cool, like put on an air show? Or, drop prizes to all us poor bastards sitting below. Anyone who read yesterday’s post will recall rudi and I had a 2 hour car ride. What i didn’t mention is that since he spent the whole day eating other dogs food, he kindly ripped ass the whole way home, marinating my truck in Eau de dog fart. So there I sat, in my own personal fartmobile, when my ole friend trevor called to inform me there may or may not be another kewpee, in kenosha wisconsin! Could this be? The one thing that people from the Lima area have to be proud of, is not entirely our own? This has to be solved. What’s next, the beaverdam truck stop isn’t the only one where you can get a 72 oz. drink, a plate of biscuits and gravy, and a hand-job for under $20?

Bud Selig, has re-nigged on his plans to retire next season, and is staying 3 more years. The last two years I’ve been posturing my life to run for commissioner of baseball. What the fuck am I to do now. In the event that Mr. Selig should step down early, or be assasinated. Here is my platform.

1. we’re gonna lower beer prices. This price does not prevent anyone from drinking ‘too’ much. Once you’ve dropped 42 bucks on a nice buzz, your not stopping until you run out of cash, or til you get donkey punched in line for the urinal.

2. One team, will consist only of guys on steroids, HGH, and coke. Who wouldn’t watch that. Darryl Strawberry has some unfinished business.

3. Beer sales will not be cut off. Today’s new stadiums were generally funded by tax dollars, and all contain some type of detention facillity. Sorry, ya built it, we’re gonna use it.

4. Streakers who make the fat assed security guard’s dive and wiff, get free tickets, and walk away scot free. Who dosn’t enjoy watching some guy struggle off his little stool, and then try and run down a liquored up 24 year old, while burning more calories than he has since he passed his last kidney stone.

5. Small market teams get to use ghost runners when playing the top two payrolls from each league. That’ll level the playing field. Down 2 in the 9th, ‘Oh, Ghost on second to start the inning’.

P.S. a free box of Delicious chocolate buckeyes for whomever solves the mystery of the great kewpee of the north.

Posted on Monday, January 21, 2008 at 09:01PM

follow up

after about 6 seconds of internet research, the truth was told, and I just feel dirty. It’s like I’ve been living a lie.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kewpee

sarah found this, somaybe she wins, it’s open for debate. However I found this link

www.kewpee.com

Posted on Monday, January 21, 2008 at 09:54PM

moving on…

24 hours later, the horrifying news has had time to set in. After a day full of playing Risk and chess online, while on the company dime, I’ve had time to reflect. I still love kewpee. I don’t care if they have one in nebraska. Who we all should be mad at is our parents. Dirty bastards lied to us all these years. It’s like when my mom told me if i don’t stop playing with myself, I’d go blind. I play with myself all the time, and am the only one in my family without corrective eyewear. Who are they to tell us we were special for getting to eat supper in a diner filled with naked baby dolls. Being an expecting parent, I need to see things from their perspective. Most people from the lima area have little to be proud of, they were just boosting our confidence a little. With the possible exception of being world class ten pins players, and master mailbox assasin’s, and just all around budding convicts, a dim future was in store for us. Once greg simpson went to shit, kewpee was all we had. Who can blame them for trying to give us something to shoot for. So what if a few other folks also got to enjoy griddle fried deliciousness on a bun. Good for them! Next time I take a double kewpee cheese, with ketchup and dip it into my chilli, I’ll do it knowing that somewhere maybe mateen cleeves , or barry alvarez’s son is serving this very meal to someone like me.Stop the presses!!!! Tom brady is wearing a walking cast! Lets all pool our money together and put it on the giants! Poor Tom Brady, has to wear a protective boot while he bangs a victorias secret model, booh hooh. Seriously, this dude has some shit coming his way. multiple superbowls, millions of dollars, knocked up a hot actress, and your lingerie model girlfriend dosn’t care. perfect season, MVP, it keeps coming. Michigan couldn’t get rid of this guy fast enough, and now look at him. I’m convinced at some point this dude made a deal with the devil, just like tommy in Oh brother where art thou (who was also named chris thomas). If there is any justice in this world, he will get a very serious STD named after him, in the near future.

Can someone please have a talk with jessica alba. have you seen the previews to her latest movie? Apparently she is blind, and gets an eye transplant, and now can see dead people. Look jessica, you are way too hot to be taking horrible movie after horrible movie. After awhile your hotness will be wasted and you will dissappear forever, like Linda Carter from wonderwoman, the chick who played daisy duke, and blanch from the golden girls. Please just hold out for a decent role, and maybe a full nude scene or two, instead of pumping out shitty movies that I won’t even bother to watch when my wife is out of town. Your movies are like the episode from south park when AwesomeO 2000 keeps just winging together adam sandler movie ideas. Just sit back, wait for some role where you play, either a drug addict, a hooker, or a retarded chick, and let the oscar nominations pour in. Then, maybe just take your top off once in a while. Is this too much to ask?

Has anyone ever wondered what ever happened to Mr. belding from saved by the bell? How about ALL the bad guys from the first Karate Kid movie, including the black one? If so , the following link is just for you. Somehow they managed to get all the Cobra Kai members to get away from their busy schedules to film this.    http://www.sweeptheleg.com/   enjoy

Which brings us to this weeks matchup of who would you rather bang? Last week voter turnout was poor. Possibly due to the contestants being an old lady, and a young gay boy. This week, however, we are raising the bar, but staying with the karate kid theme.

Elizabeth Shue in the karate kid vs. Elizabeth Shue in Adventures in babysitting.  Karate kid Elizabeth Shue, had the rich dad, she stood by ralph maccio, and even liked hanging out in arcades. Adventures in babysitting shue, stole a station wagon, jammed with B.B. king, and looked enough like a playboy centerfold to save the day. We’ll let the voters decide.

Posted on Tuesday, January 22, 2008 at 10:09PM

Didn’t see this coming

Today word finally leaked out that ESPN Firsttake anchor Dan jacobsen was suspended for making derogatory remarks about, Jesus, catholics, and Charlie Weiss at a recent Mike and Mike in the morning Roast. First off. Who’s the dipshit that greenlights this thing. “let’s get a bunch of has been athletes trying to hang on for more, some ESPN personnel, and some preofessional roasters together, mix in some booze and go at it. Let me say I love watching the uncensored roasts on TV. Becasue they are funny, and you can say whatever the fuck you want. Some of the familiar roasters were in attendance. such as jeffery ross seen here http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=25977965 You can’t be a disney company, and try to have a big boy roast, booze and all. If you do, you sure as hell can’t suspend someone who is way the hell out of her league, for trying to be funny, at an event you made her go to, provided booze for, and let non employees do it. Apparently the remarks in question were “fuck notre dame” (she is a michigan grad, they make you say that before you get your diploma) “fuck Charlie Weiss” (I say that every day 30 times when I brush my teeth) “fuck touchdown jesus” and “fuck jesus”. I believe the last one may have done it. But, it was a roast, for people nobody cares about. People are supposed to say horrible things, make dirty jokes, and make fun of Mike Ditkas penis. What does Charlie weiss think people say about him. He looks like the guy who  plays dungeons and dragons at the airport applebees, and his football team is a joke. Seriously charlie, you almost died because after you got your fat stomach stapled, you ate to much and popped the fucker, then you tried to sue the doctor, and lost. Your football team would be a 3 point dog to ITT Tech, but yet you still waddle around thinking your a genius, because you were bill parcell’s ballboy. Oh the patriots thing. Yeah they haven’t improved much since you left. Charlie Weiss is so fat, his office has it’s own ’steak and shake’. Good thing Notre dame never scores any touchdowns, because the little leprechaun who used to do push ups after TD’s now resides in Charlie Weiss Colon. Fuck Notre dame!!!! Let the fat chick back on ESPN while your at it.Speaking of fast food restaraunts, a new Sonic is opening near my house. This is quite rare for central Ohio. I’ve never been to sonic, but I can’t wait to go. If anyone has any info on this fine eatery let me know. i’m not expecting kewpee or anything, but I see the commercials all the time. and can’t hardly wait. My life recently took a turn for the worse. When, the A&W rootbeer by my office closed, to become another starbucks. Nothing against starbucks, but do you have onion rings? Besides I already have a Tim Hortons across the street, and their coffee is just fine, and they have the best breakfast sandwiches known to man. I recommend the Sausage egg and cheese sandwich…..SOOOO GOOOOD.

Hey the reds signed another worthless player!!! Whoo hooo!!! We got a middle reliever from the rockies, and will try and make him our 3rd or 4th starter. I really fuckin hope they let the reds use my ghost runner idea. We can’t even sit around and wait for Josh Hamilton to have a relapse. I was counting on that getting me through another august. No, they fucked that up, trading him for two pitchers destined to work at a Hyatt hotel laundry room within the decade. Oh well, as long as the skyline coneys are still at a decent price, I’ll continue to waste my money on the ole redlegs.

Posted on Wednesday, January 23, 2008 at 09:28PM