Why the Reds are doomed… reason #39

Talk about an ominous sign. read this headline. http://cincinnati.reds.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20080223&content_id=2385630&vkey=spt2008news&fext=.jsp&c_id=cin Good news however, This mornig we broke down and bought a reds powerpack, securing 2 opening day tickets. Looks like me and my old man will be heading south on Opening day. He earned it. He assisted in operation finish the hardwood flooring, and made it sooo much easier. Plus all the other baby shit he has made. Although our super efficiency caused drastic decreases in my beer consumption, he helped me save enough energy to stay up and watch memphis vs. Tennessee and Blue Jackets/Canadiens and consume beer. Also a special shout-out to the famous joe-Jitsu. He may not have donated labor, but he more than made up with it by delivering 2 cases of Yeungling’s finest beer from the bastard dutch colony known as PA. Gracias amigo. Finally a shoutout to my lovely wife sarah, who woke up early and drove to her office, to double our chances at securing Reds powerpacks. Her companies internet connection proved to be better than the homesteads’s and we were victorious. If anyone wants tickets to any of the reds games vs. Boston Cleveland or the cubs let me know. I know a guy. you see this year the reds did ticket sales only on the reds website. I guess since nobody has ever done any type of shenanigans on the internet, no “hacking” or anything. Maybe since that one year we bought roughly $900 worth of reds tickets from the ticket retailer and never got charged. Thanks secret ticket place, I’ll always remember you. i don’t want to forget to mention our new message board commentor “scott the dick”. If I ever find out who you are, it’s on bitch. Moving on.I voted absentee tonight. Where am I going you ask? nowhere. I’m just lazy. O-H!

Is everyone ready for tomorow night. The night gay men look forward to year round, the Oscars. Nothing like some pretentious celebs getting that much needed attention. Unless Optimus Prime, or Landfill from beerfest will be there, count me out. As much as i enjoy John Stewart, so much about that bugs the shit out of me. I’ll watch the revamped cavs instead. I did see a dude who pimped his car complete with license plate to look like Bumble bee from transformers. I bet that dude gets soo laid. How sad is it, that one of my new heroes is some random dork, likely on his way to play dungeons and dragons? Transformers still rock though.

Speaking of crazy foreigner’s. The montreal Canadian’s Canadian fans are singing a song in the background, much like what you see at other countries soccer games. I can’t quite make it out, but it sounds like Loverboy. Why is it that all the other countries sing songs while the game is going on, and we don’t. I know we’ll do some cool chants, and college sports have the bands, but everybody else sings stuff, throughout the crowd, trying to drown out the other teams fans songs. Could it be because we’re just not that organized, or not that gay? No.  Baseball has the organ music, other than church where else do you see organs playing? We got all the makings for good drunken crowd songs, and we’re just wasting it. I’ve heard of U.S.A. fans at world cup games encountering this same dillema, only to break into Chorus of Team America’s “America Fuck Yeah!”. that’s a great song for all sporting events, religious gatherings, board meetings etc. but we need to come up with a song of our own, just in case those shifty Europeans try to learn real football. (I know some asshole is going to post “but most other countries call soccer football”, not true. The majority of countries call it something other than Football, or futbol, just most of the ones involved in all the good wars do it that way) I recomend either Journey, Slayer, or something by the Fat Boys. Who needs that Ole, Ole, ole, crap, we got “Wipe out”. Anybody else have any ideas? We could use the help. Plus anything that makes foriegners hate us more is pretty fun. So lets get some ideas as to what we can sing, it dosn’t have to be just one song (i.e. ole ole Ole) we’re america. Can anyone think of anything cooler than when harry Carey sung “take me out to the ballgame”? We’re better than that. Lets get some songs, and get everybody singing at the next game you got to. if that old lady behind you says anything, dump a beer on her, and punch her in the boob, then sing some Journey.

Posted on Saturday, February 23, 2008 at 08:40PM by CTGOBUCKS