Did anyone else watch more tax dollars go down the shitter today. ESPN ran commercial free coverage for four plus hours, of the house oversight committee, as they grilled Roger Clemons, and his accuser. The chairman, who was formerly the mayor of whoville, had to be one of the ugliest looking dudes, not from the south. The committee was slpit on who they hated more, except for the select few who spent their five minutes kissing the rocket’s ass. One deuche bag asked clemons, which teams jersey he was going to wear into the hall of fame. Nobody had the sense of mind to tell this fat ass from Missouri that they don’t wear jersey’s into the Hall, they wear hats. I’ve been on the soap box proclaiming clemmons a user for a few years now, but after today, I’m stoked to see his ass go to jail. Brian McNamee had no reason to lie, and clemmons has a million or so. His ego has taken him from the biggest name on the list of the accused, to someone who has now testified under oath, twice, and lied on multiple occaisions. They asked him for his former nannies contact info and not to contact her until after she had been deposed. What did our hero do? He called her, had her come over to his house, forgot to tell her not to tell congress, and then lied about it. Well done roger. I did feel bad for his former trainer. That dude needs a hug.In sadder news, I received multiple Emails today informing me I was not a winner of the raffle to buy Reds Opening day tickets. If anyone has an in on a couple of extra tickets, look me up. For years we had a tradition of getting up early, heading down to a secret tickets.com retailer, waiting in line, and scoring more than enough opening day tickets, selling the extra’s and usually coming out on top. This year however, Karma has bit me in the ass. Just to make things worse, my wife informed me that all of her email addresses I signed up on had been denied as well. The reds have made it so you have to buy either season tickets, or a pack of about 12 games, that just so happens to have an opening day ticket, or entering a raffle for a chance to buy two tix. It’s like Charley and the Chocoalte factory, without the sodomist undertones, and pricier beer. I was one year away from getting my name on the JumboTron, for having been to ten straight opening days. My beer money tallied up over the last ten years has paid a good part of Todd Coffey’s worthless salary. I’m down to two options. First, becoming slightly less shitty at thowing baseball’s, maybe around 80 mph, and with little accuracy, thus landing a spot in the reds bullpen, Or diggin deep into my pockets to pay the scalper fees, online raping from ebay, or stubhub, and go to the game knowing that all those years of getting paid to go cancel it all out. I could always get in the old fashioned way. Giving handjobs in the parking garage before the game.
The guy who played the new, slightly gay Darth Vader is in another movie. If you’ve watched FOX in the last 8 or so weeks, you’ve seen previews for the new movie ‘Jumper’. Anyone want to camp out in front of the theatre and wait? The good news is, two Transformer’s sequals have been greenlighted. I have partial wood. I wander which ones they’re gonna have this time. Starscreen? I’d like to see the transformers battle the cheap knock-off versions you had to buy at Valu-city, since your parents really didn’t think you’d notice. If you’re reading this blog, chances are, you had these cheap ass generic transformers. You know, instead of the little decal you rubbed to see if it was good or bad, it was just covered in lead paint. I had this one that was a jet, that transformed into like 6 pieces, and never went back together because it only cost three dollars. Plus they need to do the super transformer, where you can combime all the Autobots to make one really big bad assed transformer. Of course nobody ever had all of these special edition toy’s, just rumors about the rich kids at school who had them.
Does anyone else like to watch the loser’s get kicked off American Idle? Good news for them, they’re already in L.A. and a porn studio is just around the corner. A few DVDA scenes later, they got bus fair to go home. I usually ban this show from my T.V., but rumor has it some queer kid from Elida is on it this year. This takes the sting of the whole kewpee thing off a little. I hope he does a duet with Jon McKannah’s sister.
