A Little Bit of Culture

Earlier today, i had the pleasure of witnessing one of the greatest historical exhibits the mid-west has to offer. For work I had to travel to a part of ohio tucked between Waynesville, and Lebanon OH. I was there less than a half an hour, but my life was forever changed. let me set the scene. I saw two coyotes cross in front of me, had to follow the same tractor, twice, and my presence made the total ammount of foreign vehicles in the county, one. I was in ohio’s version of Mayberry. Now i’m from the countryside of a town called Gomer. I grew up on a farm, have driven tractor’s, and can tell you the names of various types of plows, but today, I was the city folk. This is a part of the state of Ohio, where 50 or so odd years ago the Army Corp of engineers came in, and their best solution for fixing up this area was to damn the river and flood the shithole. Since then several boat and R.V. storage areas, dozens of baptists church’s and who knows how many meth labs have taken hold. I even saw a campground, where most of the inhabitants lived year round. Today the high was twenty degrees. The real gem was yet to come. When lunch time came around I was left with 2 options. Dougies pizza, and McDonalds. I have a rule about not trusting anyone or anything named dougie, so McDonalds it was. This was the greatest decision I’ve made to date. You see, this mcDoanlds had a museum inside of it. What was the Museum for you ask? Well, it was a tribute to the original McDonalds, that burned down in 2004. I Shit you not. Inside what should have been a big two-sided fish tank, was a glass case filled with artifacts they pulled from the ashes. Has anyone ever seen a half charred Big-Mac box on display? How about a melted cash register? They also added some historical pieces from ole time Lebanon. old shoe, glasses, combs, and a monopoly board that’s actually newer than the one I played on as a child. The highlight, was on a display all by itself. The last dollar ever made at the previous McDonalds, complete with date, time, and a picture of the Waynesville Volunteer fire department, batteling the blaze, in a glorious plastic frame. They were not victorious, but the dollar was saved, half blackened, and it still hangs there to this day. As I waited for my stale, McChickens, I looked to see if there was a wall of honor for the 16 year old boys who lost their life in the blaze. Saddly, it was not there. They live on in our hearts.Is anyone else ready for Clemons to go to jail? At first, I could have cared less about the steroid thing, now it’s like a soap opera. I’m rooting for the dude with the box full of gauze. Now his former trainer says he gave the rocket’s wife HGH. Who cares. If i had to do a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition photo shoot, a little needle in the ass and a $45 wax job ain’t gonna be enough to make me sexy. I say good for her. I’m wondering why jose Rijo never used roids or HGH, he would have been a bad ass for sure. My dream scenario is for maurice clarret, and Roger Clemons to become cellmates, thus forming a reality show, like Rob and Big. If Clemons just admits he’s not actually a texan, and that he was born in dayton, I’ll switch sides.

speaking of hardball, looks like homer bailey is getting shipped to oakland, and likely norris hopper as well. Good thing we kept him in the minors all those years. I have no problems trading homer and others for an ACE, not a number 3 pitcher from the A’s. I say trade as many prospects as you can get, for real pitchers, try and keep Homer and jay Bruce. The reds have invested too much, to trade them away now, for anyone not named Santana, haren, or bedard.

Posted on Monday, February 11, 2008 at 10:14PM